Archive for July, 2010
Just so you know: I’m not a biker chick
Posted by: | CommentsEarlier this summer I was at a really cool event called I Heart My Biz and I got an opportunity to meet a number of women who I had recently been in an online program with. For the most part we had only interacted via the group site and class calls, so it was really cool to meet in person and give each other a hug.
Everyone was just as I had imagined them to be.
Funny enough, I seemed to be a bit of a surprise to a few of the women that I met. One woman actually came up to me and said that she expected me to be a biker chick and ride up on a Harley! She told me that I did not fit into the image that she had of me.
This brings up an interesting topic….the images and labels that people project onto you (or you to them).
How many of you feel that you need to live up to an image that someone has of you?
Who out there has felt trapped by a particular label that someone has put on you?
This is tricky stuff!
It is hard enough to be yourself to begin with, but it gets much more difficult when other folks begin to label you and cast you in a specific role.
When it comes down to it, someone else’s image of you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Let’s take the woman who expected me to be a biker chick. Because I am not afraid to show off my tattoos, and talk about having piercings, and I speak boldly about making your own rules, and creating your kick-ass dream life, in her mind, I must be a biker chick. That says more about her experience with life than mine.
None of those things define ME at all. The reality is that I am all those things plus a whole lot more. I can be shy when I first meet people, and a bit stand offish on crowds, and I have a soft vulnerable side that I also show. This is what was so confusing for this woman. I was not fitting into the image that she had of me.
I am so many things! I do my best to resist the labels that other people stick on me, and I try not to get caught up in other people’s images of me.
It would be really hard to grow and change and expand if I did.
It would limit my ability to be me.
How to come into alignment with your kick-ass dream.
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In my last post I left you pondering the question: “How do I get into alignment with my big dream?”
I will share one way with you now.
Focus on the “What” and the “Why” of your dream and forget about the “How” for now.
I know that this may sound like crazy talk, but I assure you that I have not gone around the bend with this one.
Let me break it down for you.
Most people spend less than a minute focusing on what their kick-ass dream is going to feel like once they are living it, before they immediately shift into “How am I going to make this happen” mode.
In most cases, you do not have a clear plan around “HOW” you are going to go about making your dream happen, so it creates a bit of resistance inside of you.
This resistance shows up as confusion, frustration, self-doubt, and overwhelm. (I am sure you can come up with a few feelings of your own here.) Once you are in the bad feeling place you are not in alignment with your dream, and it makes it very difficult for you to manifest it.
At this point, if you were like me, you would find yourself giving up and moving onto something else, or getting resentful and pulling up one of your old scapegoat stories around why you can’t have this dream or why you do not deserve it.
Now let’s look at this process from another perspective.
What if you spent a majority of your time focusing on the “What” and the “Why” of your kick-ass dream?
The “What” being the thing you want to manifest, and the “Why” being the reason you are doing it.
By spending your time focusing on these things, you are tapping into the good feelings that living your dream will bring you. The more you explore how it is going to feel to be living your dream, and what it is going to look like, the more you are expanding those juicy good feelings . By focusing on the juicy good feelings, you are bringing yourself into alignment with your dream.
A really cool thing happens when you do this: The details of “How” to create your dream begin to unfold before you. By focusing on the “What” and “Why” you have created the perfect space for the “How” to show up.
So, tell me, WHAT is your kick-ass dream and WHY do you want it?
Soon I will share with you the potential pitfalls to watch out for when doing this.
