Archive for breaking the box
Making Your Own Rules (my first video blog!)
Posted by: | CommentsToday I want to continue the conversation about rules.
I decided that I would play around with my IMovie software and make a video for you.
This is what I came up with. I hope that you enjoy it.
( The date for the class mentioned in this video has been changed to March 4th at 12:30-1:30 PM EST get more info. about it here )
Rules….Do You Need Them?
Posted by: | CommentsRules……just hearing that word makes me bristle a bit.
It brings up feeling of being controlled, and constrained.
Rules often make me want to rebel!
Growing up I could not stand someone else telling me what I
could and could not do.
Why do I need to go to bed at 8 if I am not tired?
Why can’t I eat a cupcake before dinner?
Why do I have to go to school when I don’t want to?
Rules seemed to be a big infringement on my personal freedom.
After all, I know what is best for me and I wanted the freedom to
choose for myself.
Are rules necessary?
You bet.
Rules are necessary to set up structure.
Rules keep things in order, especially when there are lots of
different kinds of people living in the same space.
It would be chaos without them. Each society creates its own
rules around how to live and interact with others.
We create laws in order to keep everyone safe. We all“AGREE”to them
for the most part and abiding by them is part of choosing to live in
the good ol’ USA. (Although, I do feel that some laws are crap and have
nothing to do with our safety but that is another topic .)
And then we have the unwritten rules that govern how we each are
supposed to behave and interact with each other.
These are the tricky one’s.
I am not sure who agreed to them and when they were discussed.
No one asked me, but I on some level, I am expected to abide by them.
Do we need these “unwritten and implied” rules?
I feel that these rules are meant to be questioned so that we
each can determine which ones work for us and which ones don’t.
An example of this might be “ Be polite to strangers”.
In lots of cases this is a good rule to live by, but what if a stranger
gropes on the subway? Are you supposed to be polite then?
Then you can have your own rules about how YOU live your life.
These rules are all about what you allow and the structure that you
have set up for yourself in order to ensure that you are happy,
nurtured, and successful. These are the rules that I am most curious about.
Do you think you need them?
Where the Juicy Goodness Can Be Found
Posted by: | CommentsThe surest way to bring more juicy goodness into your life is
by deepening your own relationship with YOU.
This is the most important connection that you can create.
Otherwise, how do you know what brings you happiness, meaning
and success?
This is trickier than it may sound for many people, especially the
freaky folks.
We live in a society where there are lots of expectations and
pre-packaged beliefs around how we are ‘supposed’ to live, and
who we are ‘supposed’ to be in this world.
When you do not fit into that mold,it is easy to feel like there
is something wrong with you, and you begin to feel unworthy,
undeserving, resentful, and a whole lot of other emotions that
feels yucky.
It is really easy to start making yourself wrong for being different.
The worst part is that you tend to settle for whatever comes your
way because you think that you can’t have anything else.
You are so busy trying to be something that you are not,
there is no space to ask yourself :
“What would feel good to me?”
or
“What works in MY life?”.
These questions are the key to bringing in more Juicy Goodness.
I know this sounds simple, and it is on one level,
but I also recognize that it can be very difficult to do.
So many people never learned how to ask themselves these
questions on a regular basis.
When we are young we set our
course for who think we are supposed to be in the world.
This course is not necessarily based on who we are, but rather
who we think we should be.
So we spend our time trying to force ourselves in to a life that
does not fit, rather than exploring and discovering who we really are,
and what feels good to us. We end up in jobs that are dull,
and meaningless, in relationships that feel crappy,
and generally feeling unsatisfied.
In order to make ourselves feel better, we shop, eat,
have sex with the wrong people, read self help books,
and usually blame everyone else for our misery.
We spend our time looking outside ourselves for the solution,
when it is right there inside of us waiting to be discovered.
You are the only one who knows what is right for you.
The key is being committed to deepening your relationship with yourself.
How do you do that?
Make a commitment to knowing yourself better.
Get in the habit of asking yourself some of these key questions:
“What makes ME happy?
“What already works for me and feels good in my life?”
“What do I enjoy doing?”
“What do I want from _________________?”
( my career, relationship, health, sexuality, or any given situation)
“How do I want to feel when I _______________?”
(Am at work, in relationship, walk down the street, anything that you do)
“What would feel good to me right now?”
If you really want to get intimate with yourself, whenever something
or someone is bothering you and making you feel upset, irritated or
generally uncomfortable, ask yourself:
“What about this is making me feel uncomfortable?”.
Listen to the answers and go out and use that information to create a
life that is designed to suit your unique style.
Surround yourself with the people and things that support your happiness.
Nurture the relationship with yourself as if you were your favorite lover.
Give yourself everything you need to be happy and feel great.
You will be surprised at how easy it becomes once you get in the habit
of asking yourself what you need.
As an extra bonus you will discover
that all the people around you will benefit from your happiness.
Soon enough you will all be surrounded by all the Juicy Goodness
that life has to offer.
Does this sound doable to you?
What Stands in the Way of You Living a Life that Totally Rocks?
Posted by: | CommentsIf you could create a life that TOTALLY ROCKED, what would it look like ?
What would you spend your days doing?
Who would you hang out with?
Where would you live?
What would the weather be like?
How would you feel when you wake up in the morning?
How would you feel when you go to bed at night?
What is stopping you from living this dream right now?
What stands in your way?
I suspect that many of you think it is the money, other responsibilities (family/kids), where you live, or a number of other circumstances that stand in the way of you living your dream life. But I am here to tell you that you are wrong.
What is keeping you from living a life that totally rocks right now is your stories about who you are and what is possible for you. We all have them. They are commonly called limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are deeply ingrained in our subconscious mind and determine what we even try to do with our lives. They keep us small and prevent us from going after our big dreams.
Your Limiting beliefs are behind that voice in your head that says:
” You can’t do that.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“What are you crazy?”
“This is just the way the world works”
These beliefs keep you small and tightly packed into that box that society wants you to live inside of.
The interesting thing is that most of these beliefs are not really true at all. They are just some story that you bought into somewhere along the way (just like everyone else). I suspect that if you begin to question them you will see how quickly they fall apart.
The reality is that each of us can be, do and have anything that our hearts desire. There is no limit to what is possible when you sent your mind to it. The trick is that you have to believe that it is possible before you can allow it to unfold for you.
I am curious about where in your life you are not allowing yourself to go for what you really want because you don’t think that you can have it?
Where are you allowing yourself to sit in a place that is feels sucky because you think that is “just the way it has to be” ?
If you are interested in doing something about these yucky limiting beliefs, you can sign up for Clearing YOUR Way. This low-cost, 60 minute, tele-class will show you how to identify your limiting beliefs and clear the way for you to start creating a life that totally rocks. If you want to take this class, sign up right now. It is live on January 6th at 7 PM EST. Sign up today!
Laying the Ground Work for the New Year part 2
Posted by: | CommentsHow was the eggnog? ( Or tequila depending on how you roll).
Are you back all refreshed and ready to move on to the next step?
Here we go……
Why do I want what I want?
The next step is to ask yourself what success looks like for you in the New Year
in all the areas of your life. What do you want to see happen and
why do you want it (What will you get out of it?)
For example:
(What) I want to double my income. (Why) I will feel a great sense of
freedom as I pay extra on my mortgage and quickly build more equity in my home.
(What)I want exercise to be a regular and fun part of my life. (Why) I want
to feel flexible and energetic and able to do all the physical activity that
I desire as I get older.
Doing this process connects you with the end result that you are looking for,
and that is what it is really all about. We do everything that we do because we
are looking for a specific outcome. This can be a conscious or unconscious process.
The more conscious you make it; the more likely you are to get what you want.
The clearer you are on what the end result you are looking for it, the easier
it will be to bring it into your life.
For example, let’s say that you want more money.
Why do you want more money?
“So I can easily pay my bills.”
Well, if easily paying you bills is the desired outcome there are many ways to go
about it…some might not even involve making more money.Maybe you can reduce your
bills, or go to a cheaper bar where drinks are not $12 a pop, or find a
sugar daddy…or mama…depending on your preference. So, my point is that if what
you really want is to easily pay all your bills then focus your attention on that.
Making more money is just one solution to that problem.
Create your Vision
The final step is to take all your new found clarity and write down your
vision for what you want to experience in the upcoming year. Let me stress that
you do not need to know HOW you are going to get any of these things and
trying to figure it out is the fastest way to get bogged down and lose focus.
Give yourself permission to get a little crazy with this and DREAM BIG!
Imagine that you can actually have, be and do anything that you desire.
There is nothing standing in your way.
Now go for it!
While you are writing this big dream out, do your best to incorporate all
five senses into the description. Feel how awesome it will be to have all
that you desire.
Let the juicy goodness wash over you.
How does it feel?
OK..Now what do I do with my vision?
Keep your vision close to you and refer to it often. This is your map
for the coming year. Keep it accessible and look at it often.
If you are feeling crafty, you can take this a step farther and make a
dream map or vision board out of this.
Look at your vision statement / dream map often and allow yourself to
feel how great it is to have all these things in your life.
EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT THERE YET!
Keep your eyes peeled for opportunities that will bring these things to you.
Focus on what is showing up and how you are getting closer every day.
When you feel like you are losing focus,look at your map and reconnect with it.
Feel free to change it, and adjust to it as you move through the year.
I know that I can easily get distracted and scattered by a million shiny
things that I come across every day. Staying connected to my vision keeps
my focused and on track. It also helps me determine if that shiny sparkly
thing is worth my time and effort.
Oh Yhea….I forgot the most important step.
Once you finish with the creation process,take some time and CELEBRATE how awesome you are.
You totally ROCK!
I wish you many blessings and lots of juicy goodness in the New Year.
