What if Your Strengths are Different than You Think?
ByOver the past few weeks in the Create Your Kick-Ass Life Program, we have been focusing on really knowing yourself. Part of that work has been entertaining the idea that you are better off spending your time and energy focusing on your strengths and building upon them than trying to fix your weaknesses. This way of thinking is pretty much the opposite of what we are brought up to believe, so it can be an edgy place to stand.
This always brings up the question- Who gets to determine what your strengths are? Is it your parents? Society? Your teachers?
In my mind, I’m the only one who can determine what my strengths are. I’m the only one who has all the inside information that is needed about how I feel when I’m doing something.
I know something is my strength when it feels really good to do it. I feel tapped in and turned on when I engage in it! My energy naturally goes there, and it feels fulfilling to me.
I want to point out that just because you are good at something, it doesn’t mean it’s one of your strengths and you should pursue it. I find the real determining factor is how you feel while engaging in it, and if you naturally have the energy to do it.
For example- I’m really good at working in restaurants. There has always been plenty of opportunity for me there. Outwardly I was very successful, but the reality was that it didn’t feel very good to me. Working in that environment totally stressed me out, and felt bad in so many different ways. I self medicated in a variety of ways to get through my week. Even thought I was good at it, it doesn’t mean it was good for me.
On the other hand, being a Kick-Ass Life Coach feels awesome. I’m totally in my flow when I’m coaching someone, and the results are always fantastic. It is effortless. I have tons of energy for it and I don’t need anything besides my inspiration to get through the day.
Lots of people thought I was crazy when I wanted to become a coach. They had never heard of it before and thought I was a trouble maker for wanting to help people question the “norms” in order to determine what was right for them. But I knew deep down inside that it was perfect for me and I would be well served by focusing my resources, and energy towards expanding my capabilities.
I curious, what are your strengths?
Are there any you have ignored because someone told you they were not worth pursuing?
6 Comments
April 6th, 2011 at 12:33 am
Point well made, Leah. It’s hard when there are things you are good at but hate. Always remember my mother being exasperated by the fact that I didn’t want jobs where I had to manage people – “but you’re so good at it, have won awards etc!” – yeah but I absolutely hate it. Same with writing, there are some sorts of writing that I have to literally bribe myself to do, and others that make me smile blissfully! It’s a challenge to give yourself permission to do the blissful stuff, especially when the stuff you’re good at is the mainstream, supposedly better paying approach.
April 6th, 2011 at 7:24 am
Hey Leah~
Great Piece! I’ve been working with Tuck and the whole Human Design philosophy and I’ll tell you …….it’s helped me by amplifying and confirming WHO I AM to the core! My effin’ Design baby! That said, my strengths are my ability to “BE Out There” with myself- love and live in my lime light and impact- be a leader in some cool, funky ways and most of all via my voice! I’ve had hints of this wave of realizations over the past years and now thru this connection (many thanks to you) with Tuck it has downloaded and come home!
I’m very curious and love to get to know people- I’m a great wide open wild spirit who is here to manifest some kick-ass-ness in this world-
Even writing this I still feel a sting of “wow, am I bragging?- do I sound self-centered?” I know it’s my loving ego ; ) doing her thang!
Lovin’ what I’m learning!
Here’s to focusing and embracing what makes us……US!!!
beth
April 6th, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Leah, want to say thank you for putting yourself out there in this way. Your writings have helped me think through some of my stuff. Like, I’m good at being a nurse, but the hospital was really bad for me. I had to so all kinds of stuff to make it through the day well. Well for me was being this perfectly nice person under some fairly extraordinary circumstances. And I “failed” and succumed to the stress of the envirment, rather than letting the water run off my back, then I beat myself up. rotten routine. Now, I love my work, I can loose myself in it completely and feel like all my strengths combine in one practice. Now, I just have to expand the practice so others feel the love I have for what I do…the flow, the miracle, the ease. Its all in place but I feel uncertain. Yet, there you are, reminding me with this blog. Thanks, I needed that.
April 7th, 2011 at 10:40 am
Hi Fiona,
I hear what you are saying about it being a challenge to give yourself permission to follow your Bliss….sometimes it seems like it would be easier to hang it all up and up back to the restaurant biz….It would eliminate the need to do marketing and finding new clients. BUT even though I made a lot of money in the restaurant …I also spent a lot of money trying to make myself feel good. My life is so much more Kick-Ass right now. I’m happier, and more at peace.
Leah
April 7th, 2011 at 10:42 am
Hi Beth…glad I could help! That’s what I’m here for.
April 7th, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Well, after spending all of last fall deciding that I would be happiest reconnecting with and committing to my law practice, and after having made some initial progress, I now realize that there are so many other things that I would be happier doing and would be better at doing, than this… Now, its like,”yikes”, what do I do now? I am supposed to sign a new ten year lease in a couple of weeks, and I am thinking… Huh? Do I want to be doing this ten years from now????