Where I Struggle to Fully Accept Myself
ByI’ve been thinking a lot about living authentically, and the magic that happens when you show up fully with people and just be yourself.
I call it “flying your freak flag”. When you fully embrace all of who you are, and are not afraid to hang it out for the world to see, amazing things happen. You find more opportunities to do the kinds of things that you love, you meet more of your right people, and you feel freaking fabulous. It also inspires other people to fly their freak flag too.
It totally Rocks!!!
Flying your freak flag doesn’t have to be anything drastic. It could be something as simple as wearing your favorite color all the time, or adding a bit of sparkly eyeshadow. I fly my freak flag by putting purple and blue streaks in my hair, getting tattoos, and wearing bright colors.
Underneath it all I fly my freak flag by fully embracing who I am, and not making myself wrong for being different. I do my best to love all parts of me….especially things about me that are not like everyone else or fit into the mainstreams ideas about what is “normal”.
I will admit that there are still a few things that I struggle with; like loving my body. I am certainly an extra-extra large person in a medium-large world. There is nothing like going cloths shopping to trigger my less than feelings! You see I’m not a classic Plus size women. I don’t have big hips and booty. I’m tall-5’10- with broad shoulders. I carry extra weight in my middle. It’s hard to find cloths that fit my chest and waist that aren’t gigantic in the butt and legs. Because of this shopping can be difficult for me.I have a hard time finding cloths that I feel reflect how I feel on the inside.
I do my best to love myself as I am. Even if I lost 30 pounds I would still be bigger than most of my friends, male and female. I have always hated having my picture taken with most of my friends because I look like a giant compared to them. Interesting enough, I like having my picture taken with my family because we are all about the same size so I feel better about the end result. I don’t stand out as much.
It’s interesting for me to notice this- I don’t mind standing out in most aspects of my life, but because I don’t feel good about my body, I feel better if I’m fitting in. Looks like I have more work to do around loving and accepting myself!
I’m curious to learn something about you!
What aspects of yourself are you willing to put out there for the world to see and which aspects are you still feeling like you want to hide?
3 Comments
June 23rd, 2011 at 4:27 pm
We think our bodies are “who we are”, yet who we are is indescribably deep and beautiful! I am developing the awareness of the “totality of me” that is much more interesting than concentrating on my thighs! I’m getting what I’m thinking about and I’m liking what I see! “Thanks”, as always, Leah for defying the box!
June 26th, 2011 at 1:45 am
I have a similar build – tall, broad shoulders, smaller hips, keeping weight on at the belly. And it’s ok! Really! As a tall person, I can see over most people’s heads and it gives me a certain presence. As for the belly, I’ve discovered yoga, and it makes me feel good about my body. “What you resist persists.” Starting to apply this to my belly. If I hate it, then it might grow more just from that stress. But if I learn to love it the way it is, maybe it will shrink… and maybe it just won’t be such an issue anymore…
June 27th, 2011 at 7:58 am
Marian, I agree with you around the what you resist persist! The more I love myself…the less I notice the belly. I tend to only really see it when I am trying to find flaws myself because I’m trying to make myself wrong about something.