Are Pre-Packaged Beliefs Standing in the Way of Your Happiness?
By LeahMany of my clients start working with me because they have reached a point in their lives where they are not getting the satisfaction and success that they are wanting. This problem usually shows up in their professional lives first, but I find that it carries over into their personal lives too. When we explore the issue, a Pre-Packaged belief is most always the cause of the problem.
A Pre-Packaged Belief is a story that you tell yourself about how the word works, or what is possible. These stories might be handed down to you by your family, or the people around you, or even the media. It is usually something you have heard over and over and you believe it to be true. The thing is, these stories are not necessarily true…especially for you. Trying to live by this pre-package belief may because you discomfort, or is extremely challenge, and ultimately it just is not working for you. The end result is that you are not getting the results that you desire and it feels like a struggle to make it work.
I used to work with sincere, intelligent, magical guy who had just turned 30. He came to me because he was struggling in his job as a warehouse manager. He was stressed out and overwhelmed most of the time. He wanted help finding a way to make it bearable. We soon uncovered the issue. He was really a musician at heart. Playing music was what brought him the most connection and happiness. But, he had bought into the story that you could not make enough money to survive as a musician. His father had drilled it into his head that he needed a secure job with a steady income in order to get ahead and survive. So, that is what he did. He left making music for his spare time. The problem with this is that his “secure job” left him feeling depleted and depressed and he did not have the energy to make music. He began to doubt himself and got caught in the trap of thinking that he had to “fix” himself in order to get ahead. This was not a great place to be standing in.
I asked him to re-write his story about making money as a musician. What if you could make enough money to THRIVE by making music? What would that look like? As he began to explore what this might look like to him, he began to become aware of a number of different possibilities around how this might work for him. I gave him some homework that allowed him to connect with this energy on a deeper level. I taught him some tricks to use so tha he would stay connected to his new story of being a successful musician. Next thing you know he had a plan. He decided to move to Atlanta and tap into the music scene there. I just heard from him the other day. After being in Atlanta for 4 months, he has lined up enough work as a professional musician to pay the bills and then some. He is living his dream and making money too. He has tapped into his ever abundant flow and life feels great!
I can help you do this too. Give me a call to see how we might work together.
2 Comments
March 8th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I am disassembling the pre-packaged stories I grew up with around ‘education is the key to success’ and needing to have a profession (doctor lawyer indian chief) or at the very least a paycheck job. Progress has been slow, but it is happening. I’m finding ways to turn my skills and years of experience to less traditional paths which I enjoy more.
On the tail of this revising my pre-packaged story a much bigger issue has come up around my daughter’s education. (She is 14) We have withdrawn her from the traditional public school route for many reasons, and she is studying and learning stuff at home. For the most part she is happy and excited with her different lifestyle. She is bright and curious but not traditionally academically inclined. She has clearly stated she doesn’t want to go to college.
I want to teach her and show her that there are other creative and nontraditional ways to make it in the world.
But I suffer anxiety around the fact that she will not earn a high school diploma. Is getting a GED enough? Is it effective? Does she even need to worry about that? She is a very talented artist and writer and I would much rather see her pursue her blissful ways than to be stuck in classrooms doing work and learning things she doesn’t want or care about because some government has decided it is necessary or wants to program her with it.
Some of the richest and happiest people I know didn’t finish high school or never went to college. I know that it is possible to succeed without those things… I want to give her the best opportunity I can to have a really different and wonderful life, but I am still scared. It is a lot of responsibility to be deciding things for her that will effect her entire life and be less than certain about the rightness of the choice.
March 12th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Hi Lillith,
I am glad that you are making your way through examining your beliefs around education and what “profession” means. These are two places that there are a lot of pre-package ideas about what you are supposed to do in order to be successful. It it great that you are recognizing what works for you and what does not. I think the key is to connect to your intention for feeling good in all of it and make choices based on that.
I understand that making these choices for your daughter can feel scary. But I think the same ideas apply. If she seems to thrive and be happy doing what you are doing, I say go for it. There are so may people ditching public and traditional education systems. I know that in Boston, home schooling is becoming a big thing.
How would connecting with other folks doing similar things around education feel?
I also suspect that your belief around education and profession is underneath your doubt and uncertainty. So what if you tried on the belief that your daughter will thrive and lead a meaningful prosperous life . ( without attaching and stipulations about school..profession..leave that to your daughter and the Universe to work out).
How would that feel?
Peace,
Leah