Archive for attention

Jan
25

How to Create a Kick-Ass Life – Part 1

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You’ve declared that 2011 is going to be better than last year. It’s got to be, right?

Hell, maybe you’ve even gone as far as to say that this year is going to be the year you settle for nothing less than Kick-Ass!  Woo-hoo!!!

The question is, just how are you going to go about making this year better than last year?  What’s your plan for achieving kick-ass?

You have one, right?

If not, I’d love to offer up a few suggestions for how to go about doing it.

I’m doing this because I want to see you living a Kick-Ass Life. Mostly because I’m selfish, the more people living kick-ass lives, the more interesting, awesome, happy people there are for me to hang out and play with.

I mean seriously. People living kick-ass lives are fun and from my perspective- Fun is better!!

Assuming that you all want kick-ass lives, I’m going to share some things that will help you create one for yourself.

First and foremost, the proper mindset is essential!

The way you approach creating change is very important. Where you focus your attention, how you think about things and your level of commitment deeply influences your outcome.

If you’re like many people, you’re used to focusing on the things that aren’t working for you. You get caught up in your problems and you can’t see any solutions. You feel stuck and overwhelmed and nothing seems to change, or it gets worse!  This is so frustrating, and you begin to doubt yourself and often times give up.

You’re approaching things from the wrong angle!

When you focus on all your problems and the things you don’t want, you get more of the same. When you learn how to shift your mindset, so that you are focusing your attention on all the things that you do want in your life, and the things that feel good to you, then you will get the results you are looking for.

Where you focus your attention matters! Luckily, this is something that you actually have control over. You get to choose what thoughts you pay attention to. It takes a bit of practice, but you’ll get the hang of it.

Anchor yourself into your desire to live a Kick-Ass Life.

This is important because eventually things are going to get difficult. If your not anchored into your desire it will be really easy to give up when the going gets rough. If you want to succeed at creating your Kick-Ass Life, you have to be committed and  persistent in your efforts. One way you can do this by setting an intention and making your happiness a priority.

Do you want some help working on your mindset?

Sign up for the Create Your Kick-Ass Life in 2011 group program. We will be covering mindset in depth in the first 4 week module of the program. I also provide you with lots of cool tools that help you anchor into your commitment and amplify the energy of feeling good so your entire process feels so much easier.  You can learn more here: http://www.defythebox.com/create-your-kick-ass-life-in-2011/

In my next post I am going to talk about how getting up close and personal with yourself makes creating your Kick-Ass Life so much easier.

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Oct
16

What To Do When They Drive You F@%$ Crazy?

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We all have experienced this.

There is someone who you can’t stand and who drives you crazy in your personal or work life.

Every time you see them you bristle up and get aggravated. It is like they are purposefully trying to piss you off and you think they are totally full of shit. They do the same stupid stuff over and over again. You can’t believe that they act this way, and you feel powerless to change things.

These people come in many different disguises. Sometimes it is your boss or co-worker. Other times it hits close to home and is a family member…..maybe even your parents.

The thing they have in common is that they make part of your life suck, and you feel like you have to put up with it because of the place that they hold in your life.  (This situation could be describing your job or relationship too.)

So, what do you do about it?

How can you make it better?

I am going to tell you but you might not like it.

The best way to make this situation better is to spend some time focusing your attention on what you appreciate and like about the person…or job….or relationship.

I know this may sound crazy and maybe even impossible since this person really has no redeeming qualities, but try it anyway and see what happens.

Sit down and make a list of everything that you feel that person is good at, and what you appreciate about them. Maybe they are a snappy dresser, they always have your favorite candy on their desk, or they are a fun drunk.  Even if you are really stretching to find something, go ahead and make the effort to do it. The more positive aspects of this person, or situation, that you can find, the faster things will shift for you. You want to shift the energy by focusing on what feels good to you about this person or situation. Spend some time everyday focusing on this list of positive aspects to amplify the energy of it.

Next, take a step back and stop making them wrong for their behavior.  If someone does the same ‘shit’ over and over again it is more likely that that is just the way they do things, and if you stopped viewing it as wrong, you would be able to find a way make it work.  It is only “shit” because it is not the same way you do things.

Don’t you hate when someone makes you wrong for simply being you?  I think it sucks when someone does it to me.

You know what…it is all good.

Everyone is different.

The better you get at going with the flow and the faster you learn to stop making people wrong, the easier life will be. The fastest way to life sucking less is to learn to see people as they are without making them wrong, and learning how to adapt to different peoples styles of interacting and relating. The only behavior that you can really change is your own. You have 100% control over it. So, why not learn to adjust how you respond to stuff?

Ok…I know that this idea might get you riled up. If you are really having trouble with it, send me an email or give me a call and I can talk you through it.

Categories : Stretching Yourself
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So far in the  Vision series, I have discussed what a vision for your life is, the benefits of it, and how to go about creating one. Next up is some ideas around staying connected to your vision.

I guess the first question is: Why do you want to stay connected to your vision?

The answer is: staying connected to your vision keeps you focused on your desired outcome,

And the more you revisit your vision and tap into how it makes you feel to think about having it, the more you are amplifying the vibration behind it. Since energy flows where attention goes, it makes sense to pay attention to your vision.

So what do I mean b y paying attention to it?

Create something the represents what you want to experience in your life. There are many ways to do this.

One way is to write out all the things you want to have in your life and how it will make you feel to have them. For example, if you want a beach house, describe in detail why you want it and how it will make you feel. For example, perhaps you desire a beach house because you love the way it feels to sit out on the porch first thing in the morning drinking coffee while you listen to the waves crashing on the shore. You like the feel of the sun on your face and the breeze washing over you. You enjoy walking along the shore and the way the water feels on your feet. Living close to the water makes you feel grounded and peaceful. Write all this down and put it in a place that is easily accessible.

Another way to do this is to create a dream map or vision board. Gather images that represent what you want to experience in your life. You can cut them out of magazines, find them online, or use your own photographs. I like to take these images to make a big collage. I typically will put a picture of myself in the center, and surround it with everything I want to experience. You can also tack the images up on a bulletin board. Do whatever feels right to you. It is your vision after all!

Some people connect to a particular piece of music or a song that represents what they desire. You could make your own special manifestation mix that taps you into what you want your life to be when you listen to it.

There is also some software you can buy to create an online or video version of your vision. In incorporates all these different pieces into one movie, or slide show that you can watch.

Once you have created your vision and made a representation of it, take five to ten minutes every day to connect to the feeling of it. Allow yourself to imagine that you are experiencing what it is that you desire. Allow yourself to bask in the feeling of living it. By doing this, you are amplifying the energy of your desire. The more you focus on it, and get into the feeling of it, the stronger the vibration of it grows within you. You will begin attracting more thoughts and experiences of similar vibration. Notice where you are already experiencing the components of your vision. Going back to the beach house example, notice where you already feel the warmth of the sunshine on your face and the breeze washing over you. Notice when you feel peaceful and centered. Appreciate when someone invites you to visit them in their beach house.

I will caution you against one thing. Pay attention to what you are focusing on concerning the timing of the manifestation of your vision. Some people create a vision and a representation of it, and then they spend their time noticing where it has not shown up yet. They focus on the lack of it rather than focusing on the places it is manifesting. If you look at your vision board and focus your attention and energy on noticing what is missing and feeling the lack of it, then you are amplifying the feeling of lack. What you will get are more opportunities to experience the feeling of lack. Try allowing yourself to be in a place of knowing that you will receive everything that you desire. All you need to do is let the Universe know what you are looking for.

Categories : Stretching Yourself
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