Archive for authentic
Hiding Who You Are is Not the Answer
Posted by: | CommentsI just got off the phone with a really cool chick named Ginger Burr. She has a business called Total Image Consultants . We were having a great conversation about some of the pre-packaged advice that is often given to the freaky people who are looking for jobs. One thing we were discussing was how it is often suggested that you cover your tattoos and remove your piercings when you go out on a job interview.
There is a big flaw in this advice.
It suggests that you hide who you are in order to fit into that business’s idea of what you should look like in order to work there.
So…what happens if you actually get the job?
Then you are set up to continue hiding who you are for the duration of the time that you work there. Maybe after a few weeks you put your piercings back in, let your tattoo’s peek out, or dye your hair blue again, at the risk of getting reprimanded. The end result is you not being able to show up fully while you are at work. You will always be hiding something, and that does not feel very good.
I have a different idea.
How about you look for a job where they accept you, freakiness and all?
These jobs are out there. You just have to look for them.
Imagine working in a place where you can be YOU, where they welcome your diversity, and you are allowed to show up fully every day.
What would that be like?
How much more creative would you be if you thought that your unique perspective was welcomed there?
How fun and cool would it be to work with a bunch of people who got you, and you did not have to hide parts of yourself from.
Imagine what you would create together!
(Ginger and I will be discussing this stuff further on March 9th when she appears as a guest on Defy the Box Radio.)
The Freak Factor
Posted by: | CommentsI am still thinking about this week’s Defy the Box Radio Show. I had a great conversation with Dave Rendall about his manifesto called:
The Freak Factor : Discovering Uniqueness by Flaunting Weakness. ( Download it and read it!)
When I first read this I was very impressed. It resonated with the core message behind Defy the Box.
Let your Freak Flag Fly in order to enjoy great meaning and success.
I can’t stress this point enough…… It’s OK to be different, and there is nothing wrong with you.
It’s time to stop making yourself wrong and trying to stuff yourself into the “Box” that society is trying to cram you into. It is a waste of your time and energy, and it just doesn’t feel very good. You would be better served by embracing these “problems” that other folks think you have and finding an environment that supports them.
I can’t stress how important it is to create the right environment and find the right people to surround you. You are not necessarily born into it. Sometimes you need to go out and create it. I think that accepting yourself helps a lot with this. The way you feel about yourself and what makes you different directly affects who and what you attract in to your experience.
For example, when I had Kali from the Kink Academy on DTB radio, we talked about authentic sexuality and the importance of accepting and feeling good about your desires. If you feel that your kinky desires are bad, then you tend to attract a person into your experience who feels that you are bad for wanting those things…..which in turn feeds your feelings of being bad. When you embrace your desires and feel good about them, you will attract people in to your experience who are down with them too, and you can enjoy some fun and feel good about it.
Is there anything about you that you are tired of trying to fix?
What would happen if you embraced it ?
You can listen you the Freak Factor episode here:
Your Inner-Freak Is Your Super Power
Posted by: | Comments
I have been noodling this idea for a while now.
A Super Power is the thing that sets you apart from everyone else.
It is something that is unique to you.
It makes you stand out and gives you the ability to do something that no one else can.
You can also use your Super power to benefit yourself and humanity.
I like the sound of that.
Your Inner-Freak is all these things too.
It is that part of you that you consider to be different from other folks.
It sets you apart.
It makes you unique.
It also knows what you like and what feels good.
Your inner-freak is your super power. Fully embracing it and owning it allows you to share your super powers with the world. If you ignore it, and make it wrong for being too ‘freaky’, you deny everyone, including yourself, the opportunity to benefit from it.
I am curious to hear what you think about this wild idea in the comments below.
Why All This Sex Talk ?
Posted by: | CommentsIf you have been following Defy the Box radio, you will see that sex and sexuality is a big topic for discussion there right now.A few folks have been asking why I feel it is important to talk about this in the context of my business.
This is the basis of what I am hearing: “Isn’t sexuality a bit personal??? You are not supposed to bring it into your business! It gives the wrong impression!”
This is exactly WHY I find it important to talk about sexuality.
In my mind, sex and sexuality are the one of the main areas where people are confined by their pre-packaged beliefs and stories around what is “right and wrong” and “good and bad”. It is topic that can easily create low vibrational feelings of doubt, shame,fear and guilt. When the reality is, when I am fully accepting and embracing my sexuality, it leads to the most amazing feelings of joy,bliss and expansion that I have ever known. To me there is lots of personal power there.
I remember when I was about 8 years old. I was just begining to really discover my body and how good it could make me feel. My family was not religious, but I liked to go to church with my friend and sing during the service with her. I remember one sermon in particular that said that the feelings I was having in my body were evil and bad and I should not touch myself or even think about that. I could not believe what I was hearing ! It was confusing and scary. I did not want to be evil, but I also somehow knew in my heart that my natural feeling were OK. So I did not let that stop me from enjoying myself.
For many people, this is not the case. They begin to doubt themselves and their natural feelings and urges, and make themselves wrong for having them.In my mind, this is one of the worse things you can do. You are basically tuning out your inner-guidance system…or as I like to say..you are tuning out your Inner-Freak. You begin to ignore the part of you that knows what feels good to you, and what will bring you the most joy and bliss. This does not only apply to your sexuality, it applies to all areas of your life. Your Inner-Freak knows what makes you special and unique in all areas of your life. It is what makes you stand out from the crowd in all your brilliant juicy goodness. It is where your true magic and power lies. Once you begin to shut it out, you lose touch with it and it gets harder and harder to access.
I also find that when you are constantly ignoring your desires and making them wrong,weather we are talking about a sexual desire or a desire for something in your life, it makes you feel bad about yourself. Like there is some dirty little secret that must stay hidden no matter what the cost. This takes up so much energy that could be used for something else, like creating a life that ROCKS!
Let me assure you, that most people have something about themselves that they feel needs to stay hidden because it is so flawed that no one will want them after they see it. I am quit certain that if you feel good about it, then you will attract other folks who feel good about it too. if you feel bad and shameful about it, you will attract other folks who will make you feel bad and shameful about it too.
Its your world. You attract people and things into it based on your feelings and thoughts about things. If you fully embrace and feel good about who you are and what you desire, then you will attract people and things that reflect that back to you.
If you embrace and accept your Inner-Freak, you will find your true magic and power!
If you are curious to explore authentic sexuality, Join us on Tuesday night, 8/25, at 9 PM EST on Defy the Box radio. My guest is Kali from the Kink Academy and we will be discussing the importance of embracing all parts of your kinky bad-ass self. http://www.DefytheBox.com/defy-the-box-radio
Talking about Coaching with my Superstar Client
Posted by: | CommentsAdrienne is a dream client. She is hip, cool, fun , and full of great ideas. I have no doubt that she is going to create everything she desires in her life. One of her many cool offerings is a U-Tube show called Everyday Abundance. She rocks it out ! As part of her process she wanted to make a video about our work and share it with her audience. Here it is. I hope you enjoy it!
