Archive for beliefs
Where the Juicy Goodness Can Be Found
Posted by: | CommentsThe surest way to bring more juicy goodness into your life is
by deepening your own relationship with YOU.
This is the most important connection that you can create.
Otherwise, how do you know what brings you happiness, meaning
and success?
This is trickier than it may sound for many people, especially the
freaky folks.
We live in a society where there are lots of expectations and
pre-packaged beliefs around how we are ‘supposed’ to live, and
who we are ‘supposed’ to be in this world.
When you do not fit into that mold,it is easy to feel like there
is something wrong with you, and you begin to feel unworthy,
undeserving, resentful, and a whole lot of other emotions that
feels yucky.
It is really easy to start making yourself wrong for being different.
The worst part is that you tend to settle for whatever comes your
way because you think that you can’t have anything else.
You are so busy trying to be something that you are not,
there is no space to ask yourself :
“What would feel good to me?”
or
“What works in MY life?”.
These questions are the key to bringing in more Juicy Goodness.
I know this sounds simple, and it is on one level,
but I also recognize that it can be very difficult to do.
So many people never learned how to ask themselves these
questions on a regular basis.
When we are young we set our
course for who think we are supposed to be in the world.
This course is not necessarily based on who we are, but rather
who we think we should be.
So we spend our time trying to force ourselves in to a life that
does not fit, rather than exploring and discovering who we really are,
and what feels good to us. We end up in jobs that are dull,
and meaningless, in relationships that feel crappy,
and generally feeling unsatisfied.
In order to make ourselves feel better, we shop, eat,
have sex with the wrong people, read self help books,
and usually blame everyone else for our misery.
We spend our time looking outside ourselves for the solution,
when it is right there inside of us waiting to be discovered.
You are the only one who knows what is right for you.
The key is being committed to deepening your relationship with yourself.
How do you do that?
Make a commitment to knowing yourself better.
Get in the habit of asking yourself some of these key questions:
“What makes ME happy?
“What already works for me and feels good in my life?”
“What do I enjoy doing?”
“What do I want from _________________?”
( my career, relationship, health, sexuality, or any given situation)
“How do I want to feel when I _______________?”
(Am at work, in relationship, walk down the street, anything that you do)
“What would feel good to me right now?”
If you really want to get intimate with yourself, whenever something
or someone is bothering you and making you feel upset, irritated or
generally uncomfortable, ask yourself:
“What about this is making me feel uncomfortable?”.
Listen to the answers and go out and use that information to create a
life that is designed to suit your unique style.
Surround yourself with the people and things that support your happiness.
Nurture the relationship with yourself as if you were your favorite lover.
Give yourself everything you need to be happy and feel great.
You will be surprised at how easy it becomes once you get in the habit
of asking yourself what you need.
As an extra bonus you will discover
that all the people around you will benefit from your happiness.
Soon enough you will all be surrounded by all the Juicy Goodness
that life has to offer.
Does this sound doable to you?
What Stands in the Way of You Living a Life that Totally Rocks?
Posted by: | CommentsIf you could create a life that TOTALLY ROCKED, what would it look like ?
What would you spend your days doing?
Who would you hang out with?
Where would you live?
What would the weather be like?
How would you feel when you wake up in the morning?
How would you feel when you go to bed at night?
What is stopping you from living this dream right now?
What stands in your way?
I suspect that many of you think it is the money, other responsibilities (family/kids), where you live, or a number of other circumstances that stand in the way of you living your dream life. But I am here to tell you that you are wrong.
What is keeping you from living a life that totally rocks right now is your stories about who you are and what is possible for you. We all have them. They are commonly called limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are deeply ingrained in our subconscious mind and determine what we even try to do with our lives. They keep us small and prevent us from going after our big dreams.
Your Limiting beliefs are behind that voice in your head that says:
” You can’t do that.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“What are you crazy?”
“This is just the way the world works”
These beliefs keep you small and tightly packed into that box that society wants you to live inside of.
The interesting thing is that most of these beliefs are not really true at all. They are just some story that you bought into somewhere along the way (just like everyone else). I suspect that if you begin to question them you will see how quickly they fall apart.
The reality is that each of us can be, do and have anything that our hearts desire. There is no limit to what is possible when you sent your mind to it. The trick is that you have to believe that it is possible before you can allow it to unfold for you.
I am curious about where in your life you are not allowing yourself to go for what you really want because you don’t think that you can have it?
Where are you allowing yourself to sit in a place that is feels sucky because you think that is “just the way it has to be” ?
If you are interested in doing something about these yucky limiting beliefs, you can sign up for Clearing YOUR Way. This low-cost, 60 minute, tele-class will show you how to identify your limiting beliefs and clear the way for you to start creating a life that totally rocks. If you want to take this class, sign up right now. It is live on January 6th at 7 PM EST. Sign up today!
Is There One Right Way to Live?
Posted by: | CommentsAn extremely common pre-packaged belief is that there is a right way and a wrong way to live. It‘s thought that all people should discover this and agree upon it, and then that right way of living should be enforced.
What the F@#*%?
This idea is crazy for a number of reasons. The biggest being that we are all different, and what makes you happy and is the right way for you to live, might feel completely wrong to me.
But we do continue to force our ideas onto each other. This happens on so many different levels.
Religion is the first to come to mind.
Different countries have different ideas about the best way to run things.
You can see this same thing happening in the different states as they work through ideas about gay marriage and the legalization of marijuana.
Growing up, children are impacted by their parent’s ideas about how to raise them and how they should live. How they should dress, and speak and behave. Factor in the school system and your culture and there are lots of rules and expectations around what RIGHT LIVING looks like.
This is the main reason why there are so many people who feel like freaks and outsiders in this world. They are living their lives according to someone else’s ideas about what right living looks like. When you try to cram yourself into something that is not designed with you in mind, it feels yucky.
Is there one right way to live?
NO WAY!
There are as many ways to live as there are people. It would benefit us all to embrace that idea and live it.
I want you to think about this for a minute.
What does your ‘right way’ to live look like ?
Why All This Sex Talk ?
Posted by: | CommentsIf you have been following Defy the Box radio, you will see that sex and sexuality is a big topic for discussion there right now.A few folks have been asking why I feel it is important to talk about this in the context of my business.
This is the basis of what I am hearing: “Isn’t sexuality a bit personal??? You are not supposed to bring it into your business! It gives the wrong impression!”
This is exactly WHY I find it important to talk about sexuality.
In my mind, sex and sexuality are the one of the main areas where people are confined by their pre-packaged beliefs and stories around what is “right and wrong” and “good and bad”. It is topic that can easily create low vibrational feelings of doubt, shame,fear and guilt. When the reality is, when I am fully accepting and embracing my sexuality, it leads to the most amazing feelings of joy,bliss and expansion that I have ever known. To me there is lots of personal power there.
I remember when I was about 8 years old. I was just begining to really discover my body and how good it could make me feel. My family was not religious, but I liked to go to church with my friend and sing during the service with her. I remember one sermon in particular that said that the feelings I was having in my body were evil and bad and I should not touch myself or even think about that. I could not believe what I was hearing ! It was confusing and scary. I did not want to be evil, but I also somehow knew in my heart that my natural feeling were OK. So I did not let that stop me from enjoying myself.
For many people, this is not the case. They begin to doubt themselves and their natural feelings and urges, and make themselves wrong for having them.In my mind, this is one of the worse things you can do. You are basically tuning out your inner-guidance system…or as I like to say..you are tuning out your Inner-Freak. You begin to ignore the part of you that knows what feels good to you, and what will bring you the most joy and bliss. This does not only apply to your sexuality, it applies to all areas of your life. Your Inner-Freak knows what makes you special and unique in all areas of your life. It is what makes you stand out from the crowd in all your brilliant juicy goodness. It is where your true magic and power lies. Once you begin to shut it out, you lose touch with it and it gets harder and harder to access.
I also find that when you are constantly ignoring your desires and making them wrong,weather we are talking about a sexual desire or a desire for something in your life, it makes you feel bad about yourself. Like there is some dirty little secret that must stay hidden no matter what the cost. This takes up so much energy that could be used for something else, like creating a life that ROCKS!
Let me assure you, that most people have something about themselves that they feel needs to stay hidden because it is so flawed that no one will want them after they see it. I am quit certain that if you feel good about it, then you will attract other folks who feel good about it too. if you feel bad and shameful about it, you will attract other folks who will make you feel bad and shameful about it too.
Its your world. You attract people and things into it based on your feelings and thoughts about things. If you fully embrace and feel good about who you are and what you desire, then you will attract people and things that reflect that back to you.
If you embrace and accept your Inner-Freak, you will find your true magic and power!
If you are curious to explore authentic sexuality, Join us on Tuesday night, 8/25, at 9 PM EST on Defy the Box radio. My guest is Kali from the Kink Academy and we will be discussing the importance of embracing all parts of your kinky bad-ass self. http://www.DefytheBox.com/defy-the-box-radio
Your Story: Love It or Ditch It !
Posted by: | CommentsOne of my superstar clients came to me wanting support in building her business. She had reached a point where she felt bogged down and the joy was going out out of it for her. It was begining to feel a lot like WORK! Work she did not want to do. She found herself doing things she did not enjoy because she thought she “had to” do them.
Once we dug down into it, I uncovered a story that she was carrying that said in order to be successful in business, you had to be very serious and work hard. She had to MAKE everything happen and figure it all out. She was following a plan of action that did not feel very good to her.
Now, this superstar is a fun loving gal. Part of the reason she started her own business was so that she could enjoy herself and have the freedom to do what she wanted. As we explored the different stories she held about what success meant and looked like, and how you got there, it became apparent that her story was not in alignment with her desire.
She felt hemmed in and limited by what she thought she was supposed to do. This story took the joy out of everything.
It also took her out of alignment with her vision of how she wanted her business to be and she was not making the money that she desired.
Are you wondering what we did about it?
We ditched her old story about what she had to do in order to be successful and wrote a new one. In this superstar’s new story, her success easily grew out of her enjoyment of her work and it was fun and easy. We identified the different components of her business that felt good to her and were already working. I had her identify the things she really enjoyed doing and wanted to do more of. We focused on the fun and what was already bringing results.
We also identified the parts of her business that felt forced and were not working. If we could not find a way to make them fun we ditched them or found someone else to take care of it. When we were done she was already seeing things take off.
The biggest improvement was that she was enjoying it again! Things were opening up for her and she felt good! This new story was really working.
I am curious to know if any of you have places in your life or your business where you are feeling bogged down and are not getting the results that you want.
Do you know what your story is around it?
