Archive for coaching
The little mean girl wants to come out
Posted by: | CommentsThe other day was one of those days where I really loved my life! It was the perfect combination of work and play. It was also my massage day! Massage day is cool because I get to see my friend Dan and we chat and he gives me an awesome massage. It is surely part of what makes my life Kick-Ass!
As I lay on the table, and began to relax I started thinking about my day and a wonderful conversation that I had had with a really cool lady named Martia Nelson. She is a published author and coach who I was introduced to by a mutual friend. She had given me some high praise about my website and my writing style. She complimented my ability to write clearly using simple language that conveyed the meaning of complex information.
I was thrilled to hear these compliments as she said them! I felt myself puffing up with pride as she spoke the words to me. I readily received her compliments in the moment. It felt awesome to be seen as an excellent writer!
But now, as I lay on the massage table thinking about the conversation, I found myself discounting her praise.
In my mind it went something like this: “She just said those nice things to butter me up. She really just wanted me to have her on My Kick-Ass Dream Life. I’m not that good of a writer. I can’t spell and my grammar sucks! She didn’t really mean it” I started to feel small and suddenly life didn’t feel so Kick-Ass any more.
Do you ever find yourself doing that?
WTF!? I was totally making up a story about why I suck as a writer and how no-one would really praise me and mean it!! It made feel small and insignificant.
I will be the first one to tell you that part of your Kick-Ass Life is OWNING your talents and appreciating how awesome you are. So why was I laying here questioning Martia’s sincerity and discounting her compliments?
Part of the reason I do this because I have a “story” about myself from childhood concerning writing. This story says-my spelling is awful and my grammar sucks. I am always criticized for this. I have to be extra careful or I will be judged harshly. I’m not good enough because I can’t do this.
When I believe this story I discount people’s praise. I discount my talent. I discount who I am. I don’t feel very Kick-Ass at all.
Do you have stories about yourself that keep you from feeling Kick-Ass?
I think we all do!
So what do you do about them?
The first step is to acknowledge that you have them.
I find that noticing the stories can be the hardest part. Usually they are based on some past experiences that are REAL and TRUE! I AM a bad speller and my grammar is not the best. I always got bad grades in spelling and grammar, and it affected the grades on my writing assignments. It was always a problem. It made me feel less than the other kids who could spell. That was my reality in school.
The question is, is it my reality now?
Not really! Sure, I still spell bad and have careless grammar, but there is the magic of spell check which usually fixes things up nicely. I have learned how to proofread by reading everything out loud which allows me to catch most other mistakes. I also have an editor that I use. People praise my writing skills all the time. I am invited to write for other websites like Fearless Press and Owning Pink. My writing actually is something for me to be proud of and feel good about! My writing is Kick-Ass!
So why do I keep telling the old story that feels bad to me?
I suspect that it is because a small part of me is not fully ready to embrace my brilliance. It wants to keep me small and this old story does a great job of keeping me in that place. This small part of me used to be much bigger and it ran everything in my life…….but not anymore. Now it only slips out when I am not paying attention and brings up old stories from the past in an effort to regain control.
I’m not going to let that happen!
I’m going to keep focusing on the amazing-ness of my currant reality and tell a new story that supports me being an accomplished writer. And when someone tells me the love what I write, I am going to believe them! 
Start Looking For what Feels Good!
Posted by: | CommentsI am fresh back from an awesome long weekend spent engaging in pleasurable pursuits and I am really looking forward to doing My Kick-Ass Dream Life this afternoon at 3 PM EST. We are going to be continuing the conversation around some of my favorite subjects- owning pleasure and committing to feeling good.
Last week on the show we had a fantastic discussion about the importance of making a commitment to feeling good and understanding your relationship to pleasure. It all comes down to this- a Kick-Ass Life= Feeling Good. We want you to CLAIM your right to feel good in your life and commit to doing it by making it your top priority.
So why is this commitment so difficult to make?
It seems like so many people are committed to seeing all their own flaws and where things aren’t working for them but they get stuck around making a commitment to feeling good and noticing all the things that are awesome about themselves and their lives. It somehow seems easier to keep yourself small and insignificant than look for your greatness.
How do you empower yourself to let the goodness in and give yourself permission to feel good?
Last week on MKADL we talked about the first step- Claim it for yourself and give yourself permission to feel good and enjoy pleasure.
This week we will discuss the second step-Start looking for all the things that feel good to you, give you pleasure, and what you want more of. It is all there right in front of you waiting to be discovered. The thing is that we are not really taught to look for it. We are taught to look for the potential problems, and what isn’t working, and what you don’t like. Aren’t those things easy to find!
Interestingly enough, there are plenty of awesome, amazing things that feel good for you to find as well, once you shift your focus and start looking for them.
Try it! Make the commitment to look for the things that feel good to you for 1 week and let me know what happens in the comments below!
Want to listen to the show? Click this link and you can listen in: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/my-kick-ass-dream-life-/2010/11/29/nothing-is-more-important-than-that-i-feel-good-start-looking-for-it-1
Is working for yourself REALLY part of your Kick-Ass Dream Life?
Posted by: | CommentsWhat do you really want from your work life?
How do you want to feel at the end of your day?
What do you need to feel secure-successful-satisfied?
Is owning your own biz the real solution?
It seems a common belief that the only way to have the freedom and flexibility that you crave is to own your own biz or and work for yourself, but is that really true?
On Monday Nov, 8th at 3 PM EST we will be talking about this very thing on My Kick-Ass Dream Life . The conversation will be focused on exploring what you want and the different ways to go about getting it. You might be surprised at what you learn.
Come get in on the conversation!
You can join the live show two ways:
1. Pick up your phone and dial
(661) 244-9817
You will be connected with the show and you can listen in live. If you want to join in the conversation and share something, or ask a question you can do so by pushing #1 button to virtually raise your hand and let us know you want to join in.
2. You can click this link to stream the show live over your computer.
If you go this route you have the option to log into the chat that is going in real time with the live show. You will need to set up a free blog talk account to log into the chat…don’t worry…it’s easy.
If you can’t make the live show you can listen to the recording of the show via the same link anytime you like after the show airs live.
I hope you can make it!
How to get out of and stay out of panic mode
Posted by: | CommentsDo you ever find yourself thrown into panic mode because you are trying really hard and doing everything that you can think of, but things still are not turning out as you planned?
I see this frequently with my clients, and I admit I fall into this trap sometimes myself. Usually it goes something like this: You have made the commitment to create your kick-ass dream life and you are diligently creating your own healing /coaching business. You are making some progress, but you feel like things have come to a standstill. You start wondering what you are doing wrong and you kick it into high gear and start working more hours, trying to figure out what you can DO to create more business and opportunities. The money is not flowing in as you would like, and you start to panic a bit.
You have no idea what the problem is, and failure is not an option. You keep pushing forward but it is all starting to feel a bit crappy and not so kick-ass!
What do you do?
Do you keep pushing forward?
After all, you are in-it-to-win-it. You are determined to make this work and you figure that eventually something has to give.
Eventually something will give, and it will probably be your health, or your sanity.
The solution to your problem is not working harder, more hours, or your ability to figure it out and push on through, even though that is what most people believe. This idea is one big ole’ pre-packaged belief. It is built up on the idea that you need to work really hard in order to justify having the things that you want, and it carries around with it an underlying message that if you can’t make it happen, there MUST be something wrong with you.
Just so you know, this is a bunch of crap!
Sure, hard work and determination are wonderful, as long as it is moving you in the right direction. When it is not you find yourself working really hard and not getting the results that you want, and feeling like there is something wrong with you because you can’t seem to make it work. You also tend to end up way off course because you start trying things out of desperation that are not in alignment with you dream and the results that you get are far from what you desire.
Are you familiar with that feeling?
The solution is to stop pushing and trying to make something happen, and to take a step back and calmly evaluate the situation to determine where you might be blocking yourself, or are out of alignment with your dream. Rather than doing more and pushing harder, I suggest that you take a break and go have some fun and get tapped back into how you want to feel in your life. Then evaluate the situation to see where you are off course. Once you have a clear picture of where you are and where you want to be, it will be easier to make some new choices and take some inspired actions to get you back on track move you towards your dream. It’s all about stepping back and fine tuning your process so that you get the results that you desire without panicking and going way off course.
Below I share some tips for doing this.
1. As soon as you start to feel frustrated and stuck, and you have the urge to do more and work harder, take a break and walk away from the problem for a bit. Go do something fun. (After all, your kick-ass dream life is full of fun and ease isn’t’ it?)
2. Spend a few minutes reconnecting to your vision of what you want to create, allow yourself to really feel it.
3. Consider these questions: Am I attached to my dream unfolding a certain way? What are 10 other ways that I can go about achieving this same outcome?
4. Notice what is showing up. If it is not what you desire, how are you resonating enough with this result to attract it to you? What do you need to shift?
5. Think about how you want things to unfold and how you want to feel during the process.
Try out these tips next time you feel stuck and start telling yourself that you need to hunker down and make things happen and let me know how they work for you in the comments below..
If you are ready to banish working in panic mode form your life for good, send me an email to request a 30 minute Breakthrough session. This session is my gift to you. During this session we will identify how to easily get you back on course and keep you there. Click here to send me an email to set up your session today.
I think we have it backwards…..
Posted by: | CommentsWhat if creating your kick-ass dream life is more about how you want to feel in your life than the things that you want to have?
When I talk to people about their kick-ass dream life, they tend to go right into describing what it will look like to them and all the things that are in it. They tell me about the cool career that they will have, and the awesome house and all the things that they will do. Once they have all these things THEN their life will feel totally kick-ass!
I think that this approach is backwards. It is extremely limiting and gives way too much power to the material things in your life.
If you are honest with yourself, the reason why you want these things; be it a job, house, or car, is because you think that you will feel a certain way once you have it.
And it might be true that all those things will make your life kick-ass, but I imagine that there are all kinds of things yet to be discovered that would work for you too.
What if you started off with being really clear on how you want to feel in your life, and create from there?
If you commit to looking for the things in your life that feel really good to you, then you can more easily build your kick-ass life around you.
I find that when you are tapped into how you want to feel, and you look for the things that allow you to feel that way, the possibilities expand and it becomes much easier to start living your kick-ass life right now.
What does your kick-ass dream life feel like to you?
