Archive for disappointment

Mar
31

What Will You Choose?

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When was the last time you gave yourself permission to choose something different in your life?

The past few days have been really intense. I’ve been feeling unsettled and questioning a lot of things in my life. I’ve been asking myself the question- Am I really happy, or am I just pretending to be?

If I’m honest, I have to say that my life has not been feeling all that Kick-Ass lately. Admitting that makes me feel like a bit of a fraud, since I’m supposed to be the one teaching you how to create a Kick-Ass Life for yourself. Part of me feels like I always need to be on top of my game and a shining example of what a Kick-Ass Life looks like. I’m supposed to be positive, inspired and totally rocking it out all the time.

That is so not my reality sometimes!

Sometimes my life feels really difficult. I go through rough spots just like you, where I doubt myself and my choices. Things don’t turn out the way I plan, and I have to deal with the disappointment of it. I put pressure on myself to achieve so much, and it can be exhausting to keep up with it all.

Can you relate to any of that?

When I start feeling this way I always bring it back to the basics. I ask myself –

How do you want to feel in your life?”

“What would be better?”

I entertain the idea of giving it all up and doing something completely different.

I do this to remind myself that I get choose what I want in my life. I’m not a victim, and nothing is happening to me. I am the source of my experience and I am in a place of choice in every moment.

I make my choices and I move forward. I re-align with the things I want in my life.

Then everything starts to feel better.

What do you do when life gets difficult? Share your comments below!

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This is a wonderful discussion around how other peoples rules become part of our lives from the get go, and how that conditions us to follow other peoples rules throughout our lives. We then explored different ways to determine if it is time for some new rules in your life, and if so, how do you go about determining what works for you.

Categories : Audio & Video
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Defy the Box radio kicked off Tuesday night with a bang! Boy was it fun. We had 30 people logged into the call/show.It was fun to interact with everyone and answer the questions as they came rolling in. Lots of people shared and added to the conversation. It was wonderful to have Pappillon along for the ride as co-host.

Listen in and tell me what you think!

( the next Episode is April 28th at 9 PM EST… Come join in!)

Categories : Audio & Video
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Have you ever felt stuck in a rut, and miserable, and you just can’t see anyway out of it?

This is the problem that has brought many of my clients to me. They are feeling stuck in an uncomfortable situation and they just can’t see their way out. They want help escaping the rut and creating a life that feels good to them. The first place we start is by looking for the pre-packaged beliefs that are keeping them stuck.

What’s a Pre-Packaged Belief?

A pre-packaged belief is a story that you tell yourself about how the word works, or what is possible. These stories might be handed down to you by your family, or the people around you, or even the media. It is usually something you have heard over and over and you believe it to be true. The thing is, these stories are not necessarily true…especially for you.

Trying to live by these pre-package beliefs causes discomfort, is extremely challenging, and ultimately it doesn’t  work for you. The end result is that you feel like there is something wrong with you because you can’t make it work, and you feel trapped in a situation that is totally not working for you.

Here’s and Example

I used to work with sincere, intelligent, magical guy who had just turned 30. He came to me because he was struggling in his job as a warehouse manager. He was stressed out and overwhelmed most of the time. He wanted help finding a way to make it bearable.

We soon uncovered the issue. He was really a musician at heart. Playing music put him into the bliss zone and made him come alive. He went to The Berkley School of  Music and even toured with a band. But he left the music life because he wanted to get serious and settle down. It was interesting to discover that  he had bought into the story that you could not make enough money to survive as a musician!

His father had drilled it into his head that he needed a secure job with a steady income in order to get ahead and survive. So, that is what he did. He left making music for his spare time, and got a decent paying, secure job.

The problem with this is that his “secure job” left him feeling depleted and depressed and he did not have the energy to make music. He began to doubt himself and started to feel like there was something wrong with him for not being happy and satisfied in his good, secure job as a warehouse manager.

Let’s Switch this Story Around!

I asked him to re-write his story about making money as a musician.

What if you could make enough money to THRIVE  as a musician? What would that look like?

As he began to explore what this might look like, he began to become aware of a number of different possibilities around how this might work. I gave him some homework that allowed him to connect with this energy on a deeper level, and I taught him some tricks to use to help him stay connected to his new story of being a successful musician.

Next thing you know he had a plan. He decided to move to Atlanta and tap into the music scene there. I just heard from him the other day. After being in Atlanta for 4 months, he has lined up enough work as a professional musician to pay the bills and then some. He is living his dream and making money too. He has tapped into his ever abundant flow and life feels great!

I can help you tap into your ever abundant flow too! Check out my services page to see how we can work together to do this.

Categories : Stretching Yourself
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When you think and talk about your life, do you tell the story of what has been, or do you tell the story of what you want to create and experience?

If you are the historian of your life, you look at your life and tell the story of what has been, and all the things that have happened that have resulted in you being where you are now. Maybe you tell this story to justify where you are at now, and explain how you ended up stuck or struggling. I have a friend who is a fantastic historian. He tells the story of his bad marriage, his wife walking out and leaving him with their young daughter, being a single dad, and working in a dying industry. He feels anxiety about where his life is going and what is going to happen next. He referrers to this story often when he talks about his life.
And you know what, he continuously gets to experience more disappointment, conflict and struggle. The more he stays connected to his story, the more he lives it out.

You see when you are a historian of your life, you are continually amplifying the energy of your past.As you examine these painful places, and you focus your attention there, and you tell the story, you are amplifying that energy and asking the Universe for more of that.

Now, when you are the screen play writer for your life, you tell the story of what you want to experience. You create scenarios that describe how you want to feel and who you desire to be. You tell the story of the wonderful fulfilling job that you enjoy and are get paid big money to do. You tell the story of the satisfying relationships that you thrive in. As the screen play writer, you create the life that you want and that will feel good to you. the more you focus your attention on this story, the more you amplify the energy of what you want. You ask the Universe to give you some of that.

What ever you focus on and give energy to is what you create in your life. I say, focus on what you want and leave the rest behind!

So what are you? A historian or a screen play writer?

Categories : Stretching Yourself
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