Archive for feel good
I think we have it backwards…..
Posted by: | CommentsWhat if creating your kick-ass dream life is more about how you want to feel in your life than the things that you want to have?
When I talk to people about their kick-ass dream life, they tend to go right into describing what it will look like to them and all the things that are in it. They tell me about the cool career that they will have, and the awesome house and all the things that they will do. Once they have all these things THEN their life will feel totally kick-ass!
I think that this approach is backwards. It is extremely limiting and gives way too much power to the material things in your life.
If you are honest with yourself, the reason why you want these things; be it a job, house, or car, is because you think that you will feel a certain way once you have it.
And it might be true that all those things will make your life kick-ass, but I imagine that there are all kinds of things yet to be discovered that would work for you too.
What if you started off with being really clear on how you want to feel in your life, and create from there?
If you commit to looking for the things in your life that feel really good to you, then you can more easily build your kick-ass life around you.
I find that when you are tapped into how you want to feel, and you look for the things that allow you to feel that way, the possibilities expand and it becomes much easier to start living your kick-ass life right now.
What does your kick-ass dream life feel like to you?
How to come into alignment with your kick-ass dream.
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In my last post I left you pondering the question: “How do I get into alignment with my big dream?”
I will share one way with you now.
Focus on the “What” and the “Why” of your dream and forget about the “How” for now.
I know that this may sound like crazy talk, but I assure you that I have not gone around the bend with this one.
Let me break it down for you.
Most people spend less than a minute focusing on what their kick-ass dream is going to feel like once they are living it, before they immediately shift into “How am I going to make this happen” mode.
In most cases, you do not have a clear plan around “HOW” you are going to go about making your dream happen, so it creates a bit of resistance inside of you.
This resistance shows up as confusion, frustration, self-doubt, and overwhelm. (I am sure you can come up with a few feelings of your own here.) Once you are in the bad feeling place you are not in alignment with your dream, and it makes it very difficult for you to manifest it.
At this point, if you were like me, you would find yourself giving up and moving onto something else, or getting resentful and pulling up one of your old scapegoat stories around why you can’t have this dream or why you do not deserve it.
Now let’s look at this process from another perspective.
What if you spent a majority of your time focusing on the “What” and the “Why” of your kick-ass dream?
The “What” being the thing you want to manifest, and the “Why” being the reason you are doing it.
By spending your time focusing on these things, you are tapping into the good feelings that living your dream will bring you. The more you explore how it is going to feel to be living your dream, and what it is going to look like, the more you are expanding those juicy good feelings . By focusing on the juicy good feelings, you are bringing yourself into alignment with your dream.
A really cool thing happens when you do this: The details of “How” to create your dream begin to unfold before you. By focusing on the “What” and “Why” you have created the perfect space for the “How” to show up.
So, tell me, WHAT is your kick-ass dream and WHY do you want it?
Soon I will share with you the potential pitfalls to watch out for when doing this.
Flying by the Seat of my Pants
Posted by: | CommentsDo you know the expression: ”Flying by the seat of your pants?”, well that is what we were doing this week on Defy the Box Radio.
I decided that I wanted to see what it was like to do the show free form and see what kinds of ideas came up in conversation between me and my co-host Beth.
In the back of my mind I imagine the show being more like Howard Stern and his side-kick Robin, bantering back and forth all the time. Listening to them was exciting because you never knew what was going to come out of their mouths. I want Defy the Box Radio to be like that; spontaneous and fun, and I like the wild card aspect of not knowing what we are going to come up with during the conversation.
I have to say that I feel the show was a wild success!
Beth and I had an amazing, organically unfolding conversation. The call was effortless and I had a blast doing it and the people who were listening live said the show rocked!
Whoo-hoo!
I think we’re to something here.
Give it a listen and let me know what you think in the comments below.
Fear is Soooooo Tricky……..
Posted by: | CommentsToday on Defy the Box Radio I talked about fear.
Strangely enough, I was fearful about doing the show…which is very unusual for me.
But this was the first time with the new show format and I was doing things in more of a questions and answer kind of way, with a bit of “spotlight” coaching thrown in. I was on my own with no co-host or guest to interview, and I was nervous about talking to myself and having to fill up all the space. It felt awkward and I was certainly having a hard time getting into my flow. Things shifted once I opened up the line and did some coaching……that feels so natural to me and I am in my flow when I am doing it.
I do think I am going to continue my quest to find a co-host if you think your might know someone.That will certainly help make it more fun for me……which usually translates to more fun for everyone. 
But I am rambling here…..lets get back to the topic of fear.
Fear is one of the main reasons that people hire me. They want to make some big changes in their lives and they are afraid to do it.
Fear is tricky…it shows up in all kinds of disguises.
Anxiety
Nervousness
Worry
Self-doubt
Resistance
Anger
Confusion
Jealousy
Excuses
Cluelessness ( is that even a word?)
Procrastination
Today fear showed up disguised as nervousness and confusion for me.
I was edgy, uncomfortable and my mind was feeling pretty blank. I admit it sucked, but I got through it.
So what is our fear trying to tell us…or do for us?
Seth Godin does an amazing job of breaking this all down in his book Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?
Originally, fears purpose was survival, but now it mostly keeps you from expanding into your highest potential.
Your fear response is one of the oldest parts of you. It comes from the part of your brain referred to as the “Lizard Brain”. It’s original purpose was to help you survive. Its goal is to keep you small and hidden so that you blend in and don’t get eaten! Your fear wants’ you to be part of the pack because you are more likely to survive. It is just trying to keep you alive!
But the reality is that we don’t need to worry about getting eaten anymore.
Funny how the idea of standing out from the crowd and being really seen in our full unique glory can inspire fear in the best of us. (It’s the Lizard Brain just doing its job.)
The cool thing is that humans have evolved to the point where we can focus our attention on creativity and living a meaningful life. We have more ability to focus on our own expansion.
I suspect that if you are reading this, you are focused on YOUR own expansion.
So now that we know what fear is…….what do you do about it?
I have an awesome 3 step process for kicking fear’s ass that I will share with you next time……..
Making Your Own Rules (my first video blog!)
Posted by: | CommentsToday I want to continue the conversation about rules.
I decided that I would play around with my IMovie software and make a video for you.
This is what I came up with. I hope that you enjoy it.
( The date for the class mentioned in this video has been changed to March 4th at 12:30-1:30 PM EST get more info. about it here )
