Archive for happiness
Flying by the Seat of my Pants
Posted by: | CommentsDo you know the expression: ”Flying by the seat of your pants?”, well that is what we were doing this week on Defy the Box Radio.
I decided that I wanted to see what it was like to do the show free form and see what kinds of ideas came up in conversation between me and my co-host Beth.
In the back of my mind I imagine the show being more like Howard Stern and his side-kick Robin, bantering back and forth all the time. Listening to them was exciting because you never knew what was going to come out of their mouths. I want Defy the Box Radio to be like that; spontaneous and fun, and I like the wild card aspect of not knowing what we are going to come up with during the conversation.
I have to say that I feel the show was a wild success!
Beth and I had an amazing, organically unfolding conversation. The call was effortless and I had a blast doing it and the people who were listening live said the show rocked!
Whoo-hoo!
I think we’re to something here.
Give it a listen and let me know what you think in the comments below.
Here is How You Can Kick-Fears Ass!
Posted by: | CommentsIn my last post I talked about fear and came to this conclusion:
Originally, fears purpose was survival, but now it mostly keeps you from expanding into your highest potential.
As promised, this time I am going to share my 3 step process for kicking fear to the curb so that you can get on with creating and enjoying your kick-ass life.
So how do you kick fears ass and move it out of your way?
You follow these three steps:
Acknowledge, Explore, and Replace with thoughts about what you are wanting to create.
1. Acknowledge the Fear: Shine the light of awareness on it and don’t let it lurk about in the dark.
Fear can be tricky and likes to lurk around behind other feelings.
Don’t let it pretend to be something else like:
- confusion
- the voice of reason
- I don’t know what to do
- excuses
- self-doubt
- anxiety
- jealousy
- resistance
- nervousness
- worry
- anger
- cluelessness ( is that even a word?)
- procrastination
By shining the light of awareness on it you are making it conscious and you take some power away from it.
2. Explore it and get to know what it is all about.
Do some self inquiry to get clear on what you are really afraid of. You need to know what you are dealing with. This helps you determine how to set yourself up for success and support yourself in moving through it.
Are any of these “itis” coming into play: (via Abraham-Hicks)
- “What-if-itis. Worrying about what hasn’t happened yet.
- “What-is-itis”. Fearing things in your currently reality.
- “Perfectionistic-itis”. Trying to make everything perfect.
- “Analysis-paralisis-itis“. Spending so much time thinking everything through that you don’t take risks. Spending all your time planning ahead for problems that might occur.
Once you are armed with this information, do what you can to resolve any issues, and set yourself up for success.
3. Replace it with thoughts about what you really want.
Choose to focus on how it will feel to be living your kick-ass life. By doing this you are shifting your attention and energy towards what you do want, rather than focusing on your fear. Keep your eye on the prize. When you see all juicy goodness that you are headed for, the fear does not seem so powerful.
Still have questions? Ask away!
I am here to help.
Making Your Own Rules (my first video blog!)
Posted by: | CommentsToday I want to continue the conversation about rules.
I decided that I would play around with my IMovie software and make a video for you.
This is what I came up with. I hope that you enjoy it.
( The date for the class mentioned in this video has been changed to March 4th at 12:30-1:30 PM EST get more info. about it here )
Rules….Do You Need Them?
Posted by: | CommentsRules……just hearing that word makes me bristle a bit.
It brings up feeling of being controlled, and constrained.
Rules often make me want to rebel!
Growing up I could not stand someone else telling me what I
could and could not do.
Why do I need to go to bed at 8 if I am not tired?
Why can’t I eat a cupcake before dinner?
Why do I have to go to school when I don’t want to?
Rules seemed to be a big infringement on my personal freedom.
After all, I know what is best for me and I wanted the freedom to
choose for myself.
Are rules necessary?
You bet.
Rules are necessary to set up structure.
Rules keep things in order, especially when there are lots of
different kinds of people living in the same space.
It would be chaos without them. Each society creates its own
rules around how to live and interact with others.
We create laws in order to keep everyone safe. We all“AGREE”to them
for the most part and abiding by them is part of choosing to live in
the good ol’ USA. (Although, I do feel that some laws are crap and have
nothing to do with our safety but that is another topic .)
And then we have the unwritten rules that govern how we each are
supposed to behave and interact with each other.
These are the tricky one’s.
I am not sure who agreed to them and when they were discussed.
No one asked me, but I on some level, I am expected to abide by them.
Do we need these “unwritten and implied” rules?
I feel that these rules are meant to be questioned so that we
each can determine which ones work for us and which ones don’t.
An example of this might be “ Be polite to strangers”.
In lots of cases this is a good rule to live by, but what if a stranger
gropes on the subway? Are you supposed to be polite then?
Then you can have your own rules about how YOU live your life.
These rules are all about what you allow and the structure that you
have set up for yourself in order to ensure that you are happy,
nurtured, and successful. These are the rules that I am most curious about.
Do you think you need them?
Where the Juicy Goodness Can Be Found
Posted by: | CommentsThe surest way to bring more juicy goodness into your life is
by deepening your own relationship with YOU.
This is the most important connection that you can create.
Otherwise, how do you know what brings you happiness, meaning
and success?
This is trickier than it may sound for many people, especially the
freaky folks.
We live in a society where there are lots of expectations and
pre-packaged beliefs around how we are ‘supposed’ to live, and
who we are ‘supposed’ to be in this world.
When you do not fit into that mold,it is easy to feel like there
is something wrong with you, and you begin to feel unworthy,
undeserving, resentful, and a whole lot of other emotions that
feels yucky.
It is really easy to start making yourself wrong for being different.
The worst part is that you tend to settle for whatever comes your
way because you think that you can’t have anything else.
You are so busy trying to be something that you are not,
there is no space to ask yourself :
“What would feel good to me?”
or
“What works in MY life?”.
These questions are the key to bringing in more Juicy Goodness.
I know this sounds simple, and it is on one level,
but I also recognize that it can be very difficult to do.
So many people never learned how to ask themselves these
questions on a regular basis.
When we are young we set our
course for who think we are supposed to be in the world.
This course is not necessarily based on who we are, but rather
who we think we should be.
So we spend our time trying to force ourselves in to a life that
does not fit, rather than exploring and discovering who we really are,
and what feels good to us. We end up in jobs that are dull,
and meaningless, in relationships that feel crappy,
and generally feeling unsatisfied.
In order to make ourselves feel better, we shop, eat,
have sex with the wrong people, read self help books,
and usually blame everyone else for our misery.
We spend our time looking outside ourselves for the solution,
when it is right there inside of us waiting to be discovered.
You are the only one who knows what is right for you.
The key is being committed to deepening your relationship with yourself.
How do you do that?
Make a commitment to knowing yourself better.
Get in the habit of asking yourself some of these key questions:
“What makes ME happy?
“What already works for me and feels good in my life?”
“What do I enjoy doing?”
“What do I want from _________________?”
( my career, relationship, health, sexuality, or any given situation)
“How do I want to feel when I _______________?”
(Am at work, in relationship, walk down the street, anything that you do)
“What would feel good to me right now?”
If you really want to get intimate with yourself, whenever something
or someone is bothering you and making you feel upset, irritated or
generally uncomfortable, ask yourself:
“What about this is making me feel uncomfortable?”.
Listen to the answers and go out and use that information to create a
life that is designed to suit your unique style.
Surround yourself with the people and things that support your happiness.
Nurture the relationship with yourself as if you were your favorite lover.
Give yourself everything you need to be happy and feel great.
You will be surprised at how easy it becomes once you get in the habit
of asking yourself what you need.
As an extra bonus you will discover
that all the people around you will benefit from your happiness.
Soon enough you will all be surrounded by all the Juicy Goodness
that life has to offer.
Does this sound doable to you?
