Archive for kick-ass dream life
Explore, Experiment, and Evaluate Your Way Into an Unconventional Life
Posted by: | CommentsI suspect that if you’re like me, you want your life to be exceptional. Normal and ordinary just won’t do! Creating this kind unconventional life comes with its own unique set of challenges.
If you want to live an unconventional life, you have to accept the idea that you’re going to have to make it all up as you go along. There’s no guidebook for you to follow. You’re on your own path, and there is a lot of exploration, experimentation and evaluation that goes along with this process.
Let me use my desire to have blue hair as an example.
About six months ago, I decided that I wanted to switch things up and Defy the Box a bit more with some blue and purple color in my hair. I wasn’t trying to be a Punk Rocker or a Raver Kid. I’m 45 after all. I own my own business, and didn’t want my hair to be too distracting when I met with clients. I didn’t really know anyone who was doing what I had in mind, so I couldn’t go to my hairdresser and say, “I want my hair to look like this.”
Exploration
I was totally entering into unknown territory and I set out to explore my options. I looked at a lot of websites and pictures of people with funky colored hair. I started noticing people on the street with bits and pieces of color added to their bangs or the back of their hair. There were different shades of colors available and I researched which ones lasted the longest. I evaluated all of my options to determine which colors were the best fit for what I wanted. The Special Effect colors Blue Velvet and Pimpin’ Purple won out!
Experimentation
Once my exploration was done, it was time for me to experiment with these colors to see what would look best. I will admit that this was scary (but exciting). There were a lot of unknown factors to deal with. I wasn’t sure what it would look like or how people would react. I had my hairdresser start out small by just putting a little bit of color in the front. That went over well with others and I liked it, but I wanted to push things a bit further. Over the course of six months, we experimented with three different applications of the color. Mistakes were made and lessons were learned. There were some memorable moments during the process. Blue Velvet became a nasty green when I tried to strip it out of my hair, and it was really hard to color over. I also learned that the blue and purple color rubs off on everything it touches for 3 -4 weeks after you use it. Expect your shower to be stained the color of your hair.
Evaluation
Throughout this process, it was important to me to stay connected to my desired outcome for adding the Blue and Purple to my hair and to continually evaluate whether or not the results were in alignment with what I was going for. I wanted my hair to be fun, sassy, and unique. I also wanted it to be easy to maintain. During the entire process, I would catch myself getting caught up in the idea of having a lot of blue hair, but once we tried that, it didn’t really work. I had to keep bringing myself back to a place of checking in and evaluating if the look at the moment was what I wanted. And finally we got it right! I have the perfect amount of blue and purple in my hair. I love it! It’s totally unique, and it feels like me.
I invite you to explore experiment and evaluate your way into an unconventional life. Where will you start?
(This post was first published in my column on Fearless Press .)
How to bring YOUR Version of Kick-Ass to Life
Posted by: | CommentsOver the past 6 weeks I have been intensely focused on the first part of creating a Kick-Ass Life, and that is identifying what YOUR version of Kick-Ass Life looks like. I find that all versions of a Kick-Ass Life have this in common-
A Kick-Ass Life gives you the freedom and flexibility to be your ‘freaky’ self while receiving all the abundance the Universe has to offer.
The specifics look different for everyone and it is important to take the time to identify what works and doesn’t work for you.
Creating the space to do that seems to be the tricky part because it’s outside of the normal skill set that we are taught growing up. We get really good at identifying what doesn’t work and what we don’t want in our lives, but we don’t take advantage of the opportunity to use the contrast that we are experiencing to get really clear around what we do want. If you learn to leverage this opportunity you will notice that you will quickly begin to experience new found clarity about what exactly will bring you the most meaning, success, and happiness.
What do you do once you have identified what YOUR version of Kick-Ass looks like? How do you build a life that reflects all of your preferences and is designed to fit you perfectly?
This is the tricky part! We aren’t taught how to create a life that is designed to fit us perfectly. We learn how to settle for whatever we are given, and to live up to other people’s expectations of us. We follow society’s rules and force ourselves to fit in and conform even though it feels crappy. But, we are not really taught how to discover what works for us and what feels good for us. And, we’re certainly not taught how to shift our situation from one that sucks to one that feels really good.
So what do you do?
Here is one solution.
Play around with my 5 Steps for Creating Your Kick-Ass Life. These steps are simple. Simple enough that anyone can do them. You can apply them no matter where you are at in your life. You don’t need anything that you don’t already have in order to make them work.
You definitely don’t need to save all your money or go get a new job or wait till the kids are out of the house. These are all things that you can start doing right now. This is also a very dynamic process that you can use over and over again as you grow and expand more into who you are. This process will grow with you.
Here are The 5 Steps to Creating Your Kick-Ass Life. I will share them briefly here and over the next few weeks I will expand on them in more detail.
Step 1: Claim it!
Set the intention to settle for nothing less than your Kick-ass Life.
Step 2: Start looking for it!
Start identifying what would make your life Kick-Ass. Start creating a daily Kick-Ass List and write down everything that works and you want more of from your day.
Step 3: Amplify the energy of the things you want more of.
This goes directly hand in hand with step two. Spend time basking in the juicy good feelings of everything you appreciate and want more of in your life.
Step 4: Notice the resistance and deal with it.
As you begin to change your life and go for more of what you want, you will be faced with a variety of challenges and obstacles. Your stories and pre-packaged beliefs around why you can’t do or have something will come up. Notice when this happens and learn the lesson you need to learn to deal with it. This is the toughest and most challenging step, but with a little bit of support you can do this.
Step 5: Set yourself up for success.
As you begin to get a clear picture around what you’re Kick-Ass Life looks like, start to create the support structures that sustain you in living it.
As I said before, this is a brief outline of my 5 Steps for Creating Your Kick-Ass Life.
Over the next few weeks I will expand on them and go into more details.
There will also be an opportunity for you to get a hands on experience of them coming up in the New Year.
The Beauty of Bragging
Posted by: | CommentsThis weekend I went to an awesome Bacchus party to celebrate a friend’s birthday. As you may have guessed the wine was flowing freely, and the space was decorated like a Roman villa. There were lots of fine fabric draperies, pillows and low tables for reclining, and a gigantic hearth with a fire blazing. Everyone was dressed in Roman costumes and lounging about. When you walked through the curtains into the main room, you really felt like you were stepping into another place and time. It was awesome. It truly made me appreciate how awesome and amazing my friends are.
A highlight of the party was an amazing Viking custom of doing a bragging circle. This tradition comes from the belief that the Gods give luck to the villages that show themselves worthy. So the people of the village gather together and speak of all of their accomplishments and declare their awesomeness in hope that the Gods will hold them in their favor and shower them with more good fortune.
As you may have guessed, I LOVED this ritual! It was totally Kick-Ass! It represents so much of what I believe in and work with clients around. This piece about recognizing your accomplishments and how awesome you are, and being able to appreciate yourself and bask in the good feelings of it is a big part of creating your Kick-Ass Life.
It’s so important to be able to see the goodness in yourself as well as your life and the people in it. The interesting thing is that this is very hard for most of my clients to do. It is so much easier to praise& appreciate someone else than it is to praise and appreciate yourself.
Do you find that to be true?
When it came my turn to raise the drinking horn, I felt a rush of appreciation and happiness. I was a little nervous at first to be bragging out loud in front of so many people.
Then I got over that!
I proudly declared – “My Life is fucking Kick-Ass! I don’t do anything that I don’t want to do. My life is designed to fit me perfectly!” and as I said these words I felt the truth of them sinking in. It was so powerful to be feeling the depth and truth of my statement. I continued on for a minute or two, talking about all the awesomeness in my life and basking in the amazing feelings of it. Everyone cheered and applauded and added their good energy into the mix.
What powerful magic! I could feel it rippling out into the Universe.
When was the last time you bragged?
I encourage you to gather some friends & family together to create your own bragging circle. If you are feeling nervous- drink some wine, it helps!
Try it out and let me know what happens!
The Real Reason Why the Things You Want Aren’t Showing Up
Posted by: | CommentsDo you ever get discouraged because the things that you want in your kick-ass life have not appeared yet?
You did the work of identifying what your Kick-Ass Dream Life would look like, you put things in motion, but it still hasn’t manifested. It’s so frustrating and you have no idea what you are doing wrong.
Don’t give up!
The reason why your kick-ass life has not appeared yet is because you are not used to thinking of yourself living it.
I am serious.
How much time do you spend actually picturing yourself living your kick-ass dream life?
Do you think of yourself utilizing the things that are the building blocks of your aspirations?
You have to visualize being the Star of your kick-ass life and play it over and over in your mind so that it becomes part of you.
This is a key step in Kick-Ass Creation!
What I usually see clients doing before they start working with me is that they spend time dreaming about what their kick-ass life would look like, and have maybe even created a vision board about it, but then they go about business as usual. They still do all the same things that they were always doing, except now they notice how the things they want are not appearing. They think about their goals, BUT they do not picture themselves having and using the things that comprise their Kick-Ass Dream Life. The things they want are still separate and outside of themselves.
You need to claim your kick-ass dream and own it. Think of yourself as already living it and act as-if it is already here.
Here are a few of the tricks that I share with my private clients that you can use to help with this process:
- Take time to connect to your version of your kick-ass life: Write out a detailed version of what a typical day in your kick-ass life looks like. How do you feel when you wake up? How does your day flow? With whom do you talk? With whom do you have dinner? Read this everyday and imagine yourself living it.
- Believe that you can have it!!! Seriously! Your doubt is a gigantic obstacle to getting what you want.
- Act as-if you are already living your kick-ass life and create the support structures that you will need to do so. Let go of the things that do not serve your new vision and bring in what you now need. For example, if your kick-ass life includes climbing Mt. Everest, you had better make sure exercise is a big part of your week. This applies to everything: people, environments, health, etc.
- Talk about your version of Kick-Ass. Tell people what you are doing and creating. Speaking it gives it power, and it also makes you a bit more accountable.
- Spend time looking for evidence that your desires are showing up. Notice every little thing on your list that is evident in your new life already.
Give these tricks a try and let me know what happens in the comments below.
If you are interested in becoming an expert at Kick-Ass Creation, sign up for this call on Oct. 19th: The 5 Steps to Creating Your Kick-Ass Dream Life. This free call will teach you everything you need to know to start bringing more kick-ass into your life right now. Sign up here: http://www.DefytheBox.com/free-call
Let go and get on with it already!
Posted by: | CommentsThe other day I was going through a bunch of old emails and I found a message from a dear friend. In it was a link to a video that she found called Breaking-Free. This topic is very appealing to me so I got comfy with my kitty companions and a cup of coffee and I watched the video.
This video was very cool. It highlighted a number of people who broke free of their conventional lives, took some risks, and journeyed off to far away lands to create their kick-ass dream lives.
The thing that rang true for me, was that they all had to release some ideas about how their lives were suppose to be in order to discover the things that were deeply meaningful and satisfying. They talked about never dreaming that they would end up doing what they are doing now, or that it was even possible.
I see this with my clients as well. Living your kick-ass dream life IS NOT about anything that you need to wait to have in the future when you have everything set up just right.
Living your kick-ass dream life IS about allowing yourself to let go of all the things that stand in your way of going for it.
It’s also about:
- giving yourself permission to take risks.
- trusting that the Universe has your back and is conspiring with you to get you what you want.
- fully committing to going for it.
- being strongly connected to your reasons for doing so because that is what will move you through the challenging places.
Get these things in place and you will be well on your way to Kick-Ass!
Here is the video that inspired me. Enjoy!
Breaking Free [FULL] from Matador Network on Vimeo.
