Archive for Life coaches
What does success mean to you?
Posted by: | CommentsA few weeks ago, I read this awesome blog post by a well known raw food-est named Allissa Cohen talking about her decision to close her successful restaurants in order to live her dream life. She is a fine example of someone who has followed their passion and become extremely successful, with all kinds of amazing opportunities opening up to them as a result. She was well on her way to building an Empire for herself.
The thing that I found so interesting was this: She found herself so caught up in being “successful” and expanding on all the opportunities that she had, that she was not actually living her dream life at all.
The reality for her was that she did not really want an Empire.
She wanted her life to be more in the flow, with space for morning walks on the beach, yoga, and time to relax and enjoy her life. The reality was that she was really busy, and worked long hours under somewhat stressful conditions and her body was not digging it.
To the dismay of many people, she made the choice to release some of her commitments and “opportunities” in order to come back into alignment with her dream.
This really got me thinking. I have a experienced a number of different times in my life where I went for something that I thought I wanted, only to discover that the reality of it was not for me.
Like when I was 20 and could not wait to be the top dog restaurant manager, only to discover that meant I worked 70+ hours a week and was too exhausted to enjoy my life on my time off.
On one hand, I was considered to be very successful for someone so young.
I was making more money than my mother ever made, and I had the status of being the boss, BUT my life sucked in the quality of life department, and I ended up in the hospital one night because of all the stress.
The real kicker was that I made myself “wrong’ for not being able to handle it.
I was using someone else’s definition of success and as a result, I was trying to cram myself into this success “box”.
It took me another 15 years to come up with my own definition of success and what felt good in my life.
I am curious if you have taken the time to identify what success looks like to you?
How about a loving relationship?
What does the perfect workday look like to you?
Take a minute to share what you have discovered in the comments below.
Fear is Soooooo Tricky……..
Posted by: | CommentsToday on Defy the Box Radio I talked about fear.
Strangely enough, I was fearful about doing the show…which is very unusual for me.
But this was the first time with the new show format and I was doing things in more of a questions and answer kind of way, with a bit of “spotlight” coaching thrown in. I was on my own with no co-host or guest to interview, and I was nervous about talking to myself and having to fill up all the space. It felt awkward and I was certainly having a hard time getting into my flow. Things shifted once I opened up the line and did some coaching……that feels so natural to me and I am in my flow when I am doing it.
I do think I am going to continue my quest to find a co-host if you think your might know someone.That will certainly help make it more fun for me……which usually translates to more fun for everyone. 
But I am rambling here…..lets get back to the topic of fear.
Fear is one of the main reasons that people hire me. They want to make some big changes in their lives and they are afraid to do it.
Fear is tricky…it shows up in all kinds of disguises.
Anxiety
Nervousness
Worry
Self-doubt
Resistance
Anger
Confusion
Jealousy
Excuses
Cluelessness ( is that even a word?)
Procrastination
Today fear showed up disguised as nervousness and confusion for me.
I was edgy, uncomfortable and my mind was feeling pretty blank. I admit it sucked, but I got through it.
So what is our fear trying to tell us…or do for us?
Seth Godin does an amazing job of breaking this all down in his book Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?
Originally, fears purpose was survival, but now it mostly keeps you from expanding into your highest potential.
Your fear response is one of the oldest parts of you. It comes from the part of your brain referred to as the “Lizard Brain”. It’s original purpose was to help you survive. Its goal is to keep you small and hidden so that you blend in and don’t get eaten! Your fear wants’ you to be part of the pack because you are more likely to survive. It is just trying to keep you alive!
But the reality is that we don’t need to worry about getting eaten anymore.
Funny how the idea of standing out from the crowd and being really seen in our full unique glory can inspire fear in the best of us. (It’s the Lizard Brain just doing its job.)
The cool thing is that humans have evolved to the point where we can focus our attention on creativity and living a meaningful life. We have more ability to focus on our own expansion.
I suspect that if you are reading this, you are focused on YOUR own expansion.
So now that we know what fear is…….what do you do about it?
I have an awesome 3 step process for kicking fear’s ass that I will share with you next time……..
