Archive for meaning
But it is Scary in There! (The challenges of going within)
Posted by: | CommentsI am curious, do you ever create space in your day to just sit quietly and connect to your inner self?
Yesterday we were discussing the importance of going within on Defy the Box radio with Dr. Jennifer Howard, and it reminded me just how difficult this used to be for me.
Back in the day, I was scared to death of listening to what my inner–self had to say. I always kept myself busy. I avoided any situations where I would have nothing to do and be stuck sitting there alone with my thoughts.
If I was home alone, I would have the TV on or music playing while I was using my computer, or talking on the phone. I would watch TV until I would fall asleep. I hated lying awake in bed with my thoughts swirling around.
My inner-self had all kinds of things to say that I did not want to hear!
In my head I would be looking back at the day and analyzing every interaction that I had, and all the things I did. I thought about all the things I did not like and wanted to be different. I had a long list of things that were not working for me.
I felt trapped in my life, and did not think that I had many options. Thinking about it made me uncomfortable and anxious. I did not know exactly what I wanted or how to make the change.
I just knew that I wanted more.
This desire to do more with my life was not something that would sit quietly! It showed up in all my frustration, anxiety and disappointment. Nothing satisfied me, and my life suffered as a result.
And then a funny thing happened.
The Universe forced me to sit still for a while. I broke my foot and severely sprained my ankle. I had six weeks of doing nothing. I could only watch so much TV, and finally I was prompted to read a book that had been on my shelf for a long time. It was the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book got me to slow down and take a look inside of my own head.
I let go of all my bus-i-ness for a while and began to create some places for stillness in my life.
At first it was scary. There was so much anger and frustration inside of me; it was hard to get past it.
Eventually I did.
I was able to connect with the part of me that wanted more meaning in my life. The more I created the quiet space to sit down and listen to that voice, the clearer my path became.
Sometimes I find myself still avoiding the quiet places, and I ask myself what are you avoiding hearing right now?
There is always an answer for me if I sit down and listen.
What does success mean to you?
Posted by: | CommentsA few weeks ago, I read this awesome blog post by a well known raw food-est named Allissa Cohen talking about her decision to close her successful restaurants in order to live her dream life. She is a fine example of someone who has followed their passion and become extremely successful, with all kinds of amazing opportunities opening up to them as a result. She was well on her way to building an Empire for herself.
The thing that I found so interesting was this: She found herself so caught up in being “successful” and expanding on all the opportunities that she had, that she was not actually living her dream life at all.
The reality for her was that she did not really want an Empire.
She wanted her life to be more in the flow, with space for morning walks on the beach, yoga, and time to relax and enjoy her life. The reality was that she was really busy, and worked long hours under somewhat stressful conditions and her body was not digging it.
To the dismay of many people, she made the choice to release some of her commitments and “opportunities” in order to come back into alignment with her dream.
This really got me thinking. I have a experienced a number of different times in my life where I went for something that I thought I wanted, only to discover that the reality of it was not for me.
Like when I was 20 and could not wait to be the top dog restaurant manager, only to discover that meant I worked 70+ hours a week and was too exhausted to enjoy my life on my time off.
On one hand, I was considered to be very successful for someone so young.
I was making more money than my mother ever made, and I had the status of being the boss, BUT my life sucked in the quality of life department, and I ended up in the hospital one night because of all the stress.
The real kicker was that I made myself “wrong’ for not being able to handle it.
I was using someone else’s definition of success and as a result, I was trying to cram myself into this success “box”.
It took me another 15 years to come up with my own definition of success and what felt good in my life.
I am curious if you have taken the time to identify what success looks like to you?
How about a loving relationship?
What does the perfect workday look like to you?
Take a minute to share what you have discovered in the comments below.
Why Do I Want the Relationship I Want ?
Posted by: | CommentsThink about what you want in a relationship and why you want it. Look for those around you who are experiencing good relationships, and feel appreciation for them. Make lists of the positive aspects of those you have spent time with. . . . In fact, one of the fastest ways to make your way to a wonderful relationship is to find any subject that consistently feels good, and focus on that even if it has nothing to do with relationships.
— Abraham-Hicks
I found that this really works.
When I began to recognize that my romantic relationships were not working for me, I was not sure what a healthy, satisfying relationship looked like. I had been doing my best up until then and was not getting the results I was looking for. It knew that I wanted something different in my relationships, but I was not sure what that looked like.
I began noticing the things I liked and appreciated in my friends relationships. I paid attention to how J & J were each other’s biggest fans, and how this other couple I knew left each other love notes and chocolate. I saw that J & A had “Date night” and made a point to really connect even when life was busy. I began to get clearer on exactly what I wanted in a relationship and who I wanted to be in that relationship.
I also began to practice appreciating the things I liked about my friends, male and female. This was the most powerful thing that I could have done. It brought so much joy, satisfaction, and connection into my experience!
Suddenly, I was seeing so many positive aspects of the people around me.
I will out myself here: I used to be someone who would focus on the things that she did not like or want in order to change them…rather than seeing what she did want more of. On one hand my life was always growing and expanding, but on the other hand, I was not finding meaning or satisfaction anywhere. This simple process changed everything!
You can apply this to every kind of relationship that you have:Romantic, business, friends, family, and even to a stranger on the street. The simple act of focusing on the positive aspects of something allows you to expand your expereince and find much more meaning, satisfaction and joy in everything you do.
