Archive for mentality

On one of the group calls for the Create Your Kick-Ass Life in 2011, I was asked if I thought that faking-it-till-you-make-it was a good idea.  I know that the self help guru’s tell you to do it, but I can see a big flaw in the process.

The whole idea of fake –it-till-you-make is that you pretend that you are already successfully embodying the energy of what you want to create for yourself. Let’s say you want to be more productive at work. You identify some of the things that productive people do, and set out to fake-it-till-you-make –it using the ideas and tools that you have been told productive people use.

Every morning you psyche yourself up; put a big fake smile on your face, and go into work saying the affirmation “Today will be a great day and I’ll easily clear off my desk”.  You’re in total fake-it mode. You move papers around, making lists, and pretend that you are getting stuff done, but the reality is that deep down inside your not feeling it. You are simply so far behind; you feel like you’ll never catch up.

The Problem

Does fake-it-till-you-make -it work for you in this scenario? No Way!!!

Your current reality is so far away from where you want it to be you don’t think that you will ever get there! All the faking-it in the world is not going to help you.

And that is the problem with the fake-it-till-you-make-it mentality. It doesn’t work if you are not in alignment with the change that you are after and you don’t feel like it is possible for you.

Sometimes you need to ease your way into things. You need to see evidence of it happening and show yourself that it is possible for you to achieve it. Ignoring your doubts and fears doesn’t make them go away. The energy of them lurks around underneath the surface and sabotages your efforts.

Fake-it-till-you-make-it only works when you believe that you can achieve what you want and you are already in alignment with it. When you doubt yourself pretending like this leads to frustration and defeat.

My Solution

What I recommend is to focus on shifting your thoughts towards what feels possible to you. Perhaps clearing off your desk seems impossible, but taking care of one task feels doable. Do that one task, and celebrate your completion of it. Then identify what else feels possible to you.

It’s OK if you are taking small steps. The key is to feel successful at being productive.

Think about other times in your life when you were productive and identify what worked for you then.

Collect evidence of your productivity. Celebrate it.

Allow yourself to feel good about what you have accomplished.

Do these things and bit by bit you will begin to embody the energy of someone who is productive without having to fake anything.

Abraham-Hicks offer a great tool for shifting your thoughts in order to come into alignment called the Focus Wheel. Check out the video below and play around with this process to see what happens. Fill me in using the comments below.

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Oct
22

Winners and Losers

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More and more I am seeing stuff in the media calling Obama  a socialist and challenging his plan for redistributing the wealth in this country. People have such strong opinions about this!  The rich say they do not deserve higher taxes because they are successful and the poor say the rich deserve to pay more because they make more and can afford it. Both sides are being played off of one another.

In my opinion, there are some “pre-packaged’ beliefs at play here. The predominate one being that there has to be a winner and a loser and it is impossible for everyone to get what they need. This is a foundational belief in our country and I do not think it is serving us very well. It feeds into the lack mentality that many people suffer from, creates enormous amounts of fear and drives the choices that people are making every day.

I think it is clear that they way we have been doing things is not working and it is time for some drastic change. Lets face it people: we need each other to survive. Lets throw away the belief that there has to be winners and losers and start imagining what it would be like if everyone had everything they needed. Imagine a Win-Win situation for everything. It’s possible because happiness looks different for everyone! I am sure that each of us has a different vision of an ideal life.

I challenge you to release the stories you have bought into about how the world works and what your life is supposed to look like and connect to what is really important and meaningful in your life. I have no doubt that as you get more connected to your dream of an ideal life, you will be better able to allow others to have their dream too, and you will be more willing to help each other achieve those dreams.

Categories : Stretching Yourself
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