Archive for negative emotion
How do I keep from falling back into my old way of being?
Posted by: | CommentsThis is a recent question that I received:
I am so ready to step into my authentic self and really embrace all that I desire, but I still feel part of myself resisting it.
Why is that??
If I can see who I want to be, what is stopping me from jumping in with both feet? Why do I find myself falling back into my old way of being and my ‘not-me’ behaviors?
This is a great question that many of my clients face.
The short answer: You need to commit to feeling things fully so that you no longer need those ‘not-me’ behaviors and old ways of being.
These behaviors and ways of being that you are trying to release are deeply ingrained in your ego and there is energy attached to them. You developed all the ‘not-me’ behavior in order to avoid feeling some kind of undesirable feeling. As children, our bodies are not equipped to run a lot of energy, and as a result, you got overwhelmed very easily. Typically, the folks around you can’t handle it, and you feel that, which enforces the idea that feeling those overwhelming feelings is undesirable, besides the fact that overwhelm does not feel good. So you begin to avoid feeling these energies at all costs.
Enter your EGO.
Your ego loves to identify everything and put a label on it so it knows what to expect. It gets really good at identifying any feeling that could potentially lead to overwhelm and creates all kinds of behaviors that keep you “safe” from these undesirable energies. In order to do this, a whole bunch of unconscious stories, beliefs and habits are developed that make up your perspective around how the world works, and who you need to be in order to survive in it.
What this all comes down to is that you are resisting feeling things fully.
Most of this stuff is unconscious and goes unexamined until you decide to make changes in your life.
Deciding to do the work to change your life is a conscious activity, especially if being truly authentic is your goal. Part of being conscious is to be fully present to what you are feeling…..which equals feeling things fully.
This is a major shift for many people.
The Ego convinces you that the intellect is king and it is all about thinking, where as your higher-self knows that all the information you need is right here in this moment for you to feel.
See the problem here?
If you are not committed to feeling things fully then you miss out on so much importnat information. You also fall back into these unconscious “not-me” behaviors and ways of being that are created to avoid feeling things fully.
The next question is: Won’t my head explode if I am feeling everything fully? Won’t I become overwhelmed?
The reality is that as we grow older and our bodies become fully developed we are totally capable of feeling everything and much, much more than we ever imagined. Your body is designed to be present in this wondrous and amazing world. You can feel and process everything you need to. The best part is, that as you allow yourself to really feel things fully, and experience all that there is for you to experience, it gets easier and easier to do. Your ability to feel and run energy expands. Next thing you know you are tapped right into your ever abundant flow and the world is your playground.
What do you think? Are you ready to jump in to your ever abundant flow?
Being Selfish: Good or Bad?
Posted by: | CommentsLet’s start with this thought from Abraham-Hicks:
Hypothetically, people worry about everyone being selfishly oriented. “If everyone did exactly what they want to do, what kind of world would this be?” And we say, a really, really good one. Because if everyone did what they wanted to do, everyone would feel free. And if you feel free, you feel empowered. And every negative emotion that exists—hear this—every negative emotion that exists is because there is some sense of loss of freedom somewhere in there.
My two cents:
I love this and find it to be true!
I love the idea of everyone doing what they want and experiencing the freedom of that. Feeling free is where it is at as far as I am concerned. I agree that every negative emotion exists because of a percived loss of freedom, or that you will not get what you desire. Think about it for a minute. Think back to the last time you felt let down, taken advantage off or jealous and tell me what was at the root of those feelings.
I posted this thought in the Defy the Box group on Facebook and people really got triggered by it. I heard lots of stories around how people are only out for themselves, and no one really thinks about other people, and advocating being selfish just fuels that problem. Or you can not trust your own ego to be leading you in the right direction so you should not do what you want to begin with. You will end up hurting yourself and other people.
To me, being selfish does not mean that I get what I want and I do not care about you, but rather I know it is my job to take care of my needs and desires, just like it is your job to do that for yourself. When people are empowered to be responsible for their own feelings and experiences in life, they do not look to others to make them happy or to give them what they need, they take care of those things themselves. It sets you up to look to yourself for solutions and answers. After all, you are the only one who knows what is right for you.
I find that there are many people who have this idea backwards. they look to others to fulfill their needs, and tend to take care of others before themselves.
There is a reason that they tell you on the air plane to put your Oxygen mask on before you put on someone else’s.
Any one have any thoughts on this?
